The Mega-Zine Museum
September 24, 1999
POLYTHENE GIRL I was born at such an early age. Strange, I was born in a hospital. Hahahaa!
DORMATIC RAISIN Give a man a fish and he'll be able to feed his family for a day. Give a monkey a fish and he'll take extreme pleasure in beating his friends to death. With a fish?
LARA CROFT Jon The Postman, you are a sexist pig, get lost, no one wants you. And Lara Croft is such an ambassador for the feminist cause.
AN INTELLIGENT DEBATE
Hi, my name is Joe — only joking!
What are Ziners' views on pigs? No, I don't want crude messages like, "Well, bacon's nice, very salty."
I want genuine views. You see my mates are quite interested in pigs and they collect them — well, it makes birthdays easier.
China pigs, furry pigs, pig pictures... go on, tell all.
Miss Tristesse
You need to be "cured" of your
PIG FETISH
TO ALL
Went for my first scan last week and I can tell you he's a boy. Very healthy and he's due on June 21, 2000.
I'm naming him after PC Stu.
Love and XXXs,
Lara Croft
I've heard of cyber-love
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS
JON THE POSTMAN
You, a feminist? Ha! I bet you've never even heard of Germaine Greer.
Anyway, I know that you're just trying to get attention — I bet that secretly your wife is the one in charge. It's only a matter of time before she leaves you. How are the Pop Tart cooking lessons going?
Joan The Postwoman
Another fan letter for
JON THE-EVER-POPULAR POSTMAN
SOME THOUGHTS TO THINK ABOUT
- Isn't it worrying that doctors call what they do a "practice"?
- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
- Why do people who know the least, know it loudest?
- When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
- Why do psychics have to ask your name?
Designer Disco Dolly Bird
And why does my
BRAIN HURT?
