The Mega-Zine Museum
September 11, 1999
ALONE WOLF Why is everyone against me? Even my parents! Come now, that is their job after all.
THE SOCK PUPPET Has anybody ever hoovered a woodlouse? No, but I've vacuumed a vole.
THE SHEEP ON SPRINGS We must kill the Teletubbies! The next generation will become a manic bunch of bunny-hugging cretins! Noooooo! No self-respecting rabbit will be safe on the streets.
TO ALL 'ZINERS
I've found an amazing cure for insomnia... read your letters on the 'Zine. You all bore me to death. I must be the only 'Ziner to have any genuine personality.
I'd have a battle of wits with you but I refuse to fight people so obviously unarmed!
Jon The Postman
I feel the 'Zine army stirring...
BUT THAT COULD JUST BE THE COFFEE
JON THE POSTMAN
Your little comments amuse me no end. How many women have hurt you in the past, to make you such a sexist? What's the childhood trauma?
Come on now, we all know women are the superior gender.
What would you do if your long-suffering wife left you? You probably couldn't even heat up a pop tart without her help.
Joan The Postwoman
And I thought
IT WAS GOING TO BE A QUIET WEEK
C3PO'S GIRLFRIEND
You are a fool. No one with any sense will join your crusade because nice people don't judge others on their taste in clothes or music.
By doing so, you are as bad as the so-called trendies. A person is a person, no matter what.
Now buzz off back to your planet and don't bother us ever again.
Riot Grrrl
Don't hold back now,
TELL US WHAT YOU REALLY THINK
2:39AM
Here I sit
On my own
All alone
Having a moan
When along came a flea
Holding a key
So I asked: "Have you come to talk with me?"
And he said: "No, I'm off for my tea."
The Ink Spot
You REALLY
NEED SOME SLEEP
