The Mega-Zine Museum
June 14, 1999
TINKERBELL THE BUFFALO FAIRY Life must be hard with flowers growing out of your head. You'd look pretty silly too!
NAFF NYMPH I AM the power. I AM the power. Next time we have a power cut, I'll know who to blame.
LITTLE OWL I got it! Finally, I now have it. Well, it's taken you long enough, hasn't it?
EXPLOSIVE Are you a chicken? Not the last time I looked in the mirror.
ANYONE WHO CARES
While I've been away from 'Zine for the last year, I've been on a highly successful world tour of Queen's Park where I've earned 61p and a banana.
Unfortunately, I forgot to declare the banana on my tax form and it was confiscated by the Government.
The 61p was used up in legal fees, so I'm back to writing for the 'Zine... You lucky people!
I eat cheese
By the sounds of things, you're
TOTAL ENTERTAINMENT p400 FULL GUIDE
A TYPICAL DAY
Oh, what a struggle all this "saving the innocent civilians from impending doom" is!
I haven't had a girls' night out in ages, what with super villains popping up everywhere!
And the housework..!
Tinkerbell the Buffalo Fairy
A women's work is
NEVER DONE, EH?!
WINDOWS VS DOORS
Windows are for dreamers — you can look out on to our world, see the air of tragic gloom that hangs over it and feel secure in your isolation.
But doors — doors take you there. Open a door and you have to be part of it all. Sometimes I'm not sure if I can handle that.
Burning Ice Cube
Leave your house by the window
AND YOU'LL BE FINE!
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
I recently discovered the most bizarre album ever — Girls I Have Known, by Jim Reeves.
The cover depicts Jim gazing thoughtfully into the distance, presumably thinking of girlfriends past. Lipstick-marked letters and mementoes surround him.
Could any 'Ziner possibly match such a disgusting piece of tack?
The Red-eyed Treefrog
I've based my life on that album
CAN'T YOU TELL?
