The Mega-Zine Museum
May 13, 1999
EAU ROUGE There once was a girl called Fliss,
To be with her was absolute bliss.
But one day in July
She waved me goodbye
And forgot to give me a kiss.
Poetry, sheer poetry.
KWEEN KAT Where do babies come from? Er... (Help! What's company policy on this?)
DEEP BLUE SOMEONE (Just before seven) ZZZtickzzztockzzztick... riiiiiiiiiiing, whack, zzzz "GET UP" Scarily accurate.
On TV when people lie they always end up telling the truth and say "The truth makes me feel better, I'm glad I told the truth." And they NEVER get narked.
In real life when we lie the truth never emerges or it is forced out of us.
If we told the truth we get narked and say: "I wish I hadn't told the truth." If we didn't tell the truth we say: "Phew I'm glad I didn't say anything."
It's all a plan to allow parent-type figures to shout/ground/stop money/lock us in small rooms.
Luv Teeny boppers Dayglo Nike Airs
This is the best letter I've read in
AGES! AND THAT'S NO LIE! OR IS IT?
SOME IMPORTANT STUFF:
- If the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog, then why did the three bears forget to give Goldilocks bananas on her porridge?
- If there are no peas for the wicked, then shouldn't they be made to eat Brussels sprouts?
- Why should only a small select band of obsessive letter writers get to see their names on Teletext?
AL CHIME THE FIRST
Questions, always questions.
CAN WE MAKE IT MULTI-CHOICE?
These are the people I like, dislike and think are OK.
Like
Flying Turnip
Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Wemden Mousehound
Wheelie bin
OK
Deep blue
Lara Croft
Dislike
PC Stue
Captain Fish
Kween Kat
Phantom Chicken
PS People who weren't on this list, I don't care about them.
This is the start of critic's corner
YOU MUST BE CONSTRUCTIVE
Dear Mr WLW,
I'm a very concerned parent and shocked that you encourage these vulnerable children to write in with their negative views on society.
I noticed this page on my daughter's TV and found out after searching her sock drawer that she was writing to you with the name "Freak Girl", which she's not. She's lovely and I'm appalled.
I'll complain to your boss.
Mrs Freak Girl's mum
Little do you realise this is the
BOSS' FAVOURITE PAGE!
