The Mega-Zine Museum

April 2, 1999

RANDOM GULP My my, that car's parked close to the track AND I can click my jaw. You'll never get a snog!

CUMMIFLUX Why is it that even though I don't know one person that likes them, the shops only seem to sell white pretzel flips? Life is sent to try us!

PC STU Lara, my life, my love, why have you forsaken 'Zine. WLW, what have you done with her? eh? Don't look at me matey boy. She hasn't written in, ok?!

THE SHADOW

My fear is the shadow, shifting,
lurking on the stairs. The bearer of my unavoidable fate,
No turning back, it's too late.

I keep doing things to muck up my life.
How did I get into this worrying strife?
It's slowly taking over my life.

Blonde but not Dumb

It's the peroxide fumes

MESSING WITH YOUR HEAD!

Dear 'Ziners

These are the Three Vital Questions of Life:

1. What is the meaning of life?
2. Where do babies come from?
3. When will Julian Clary throw away his make-up?

If anyone knows the answers to these questions, please let me know.

China Doll

1) 42, 2) The bottom of the garden,

3) Never, and good on him!

Dear 'Zine

Every Monday and Friday at 4 o'clock, dig my Parker pen from its cobwebby niche, and, having brushed the dust off it, jot down my innermost thoughts and send them to you. This keeps me sane.

My query is this: —

If people didn't write down their feelings, would we all eventually explode?

The Wemden Mousehound

Hang on a minute...

KAAAAAA - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

THE STORY CONTINUES...

So, where was I, oh yeah.

In our last exciting episode, our hero, UFO Joe, was taken into the alien's craft. They began to communicate telepathically. (If you remember!)

All questions were answered, There would be no need for 'Zine. All debates were irrevocably resolved.

Wild Bill's whereabouts was also disclosed. Alas, it was all untranslatable! Doh!

UFO JOE

Have you ever thought of sending

IN A SCRIPT TO EASTENDERS?

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