The Mega-Zine Museum
February 2, 1999
SOGGY NOODLE Have any 'Ziners seen a drunk ghost with a spoon stuck to his knee? Funny you should ask, No!
THE RADIATOR In the world of chemistry we are positive ions - a few electrons short of an atom. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
CINCINNATUS First you print my comments twice, then spell my name wrong, such confusion is surely the result of multiple WLW's, Hmm? More like the result of your crabby hand-writing! Hmm?
CONFUSIA,
When you can't get to sleep
And the hole is too deep
It's impossible to win.
When drink becomes drank
Advice rightly stamped
"Not to be taken".
When your mind just says no
And there's nowhere to go
Its not good to think.
Eau Rouge
Goldfish have a two-second memory
GOLDFISH HAVE A TWO-SECOND MEMORY
DEAR 'ZINE,
I'm writing to inform you that...
If you GIMPS! at the 'Zine office, don't put my letters on my pages I shall be forced to do something drastic that involves 20 cans of glue, 10 bottles of Tippex, 200 grams of explosives... and one lighter.
Further info on my plan will be released at a later date.
Goodbye 'Ziners I shall return...
The Kung Fu Chicken.
Well, that's stuffed
YOUR PLANS HASN'T IT?!
DEAR SILLY READERS,
I am a Brentford fan and I'm going to write a sensible letter without any silly bits in it.
I'd better introduce myself. I am RNBA Star, and I am a philosophical genius.
I'd like to point out that NOW does not exist, therefore we can't exist either, or anything else for that matter.
So hah to you, you silly lowly people. I hope you choke and die horribly.
RNBA Star
No really,
YOU'RE TOO SWEET!
MEGAZINE,
It's coming up to Valentine's Day and I'm sitting in the computer room. Attached to the glass is a leaf, and it is in exactly the shape of a heart.
It has a perfect tear half-way down the middle and it's just, well, heart shaped. Aaaah.
A sign of things to come, perhaps? Maybe? Possibly? Pretty please with sugar and jam on top, anyone?
Naff Nymph
It's not attractive to act
DESPERATE, JUST FRIENDLY ADVICE!
