The Mega-Zine Museum
October 16, 1998
GINJANUT Did you know that it's impossible to hum the theme tune to Hollyoaks. Huh? Try sitting through the whole episode.
WILD BILL HICCUP Which movie has the longest title sequence in the history of cinema, something like eleven minutes I believe? Gotcha! No way cowboy, it was Once Upon A Time In The West. Ha ha ha. I am the master!
RESH Have any of you ever considered that if there is no one around to hear it, can sound exist? Pardon?
DEAR 'ZINE,
As these months draw to a close into winter, we are missing one major evil: HEDGEHOGS!
Yes, these sinister spiky demons hide away during the colder months, supposedly hibernating. But really, they are conversing with the devil so that he might bestow secret powers upon them.
Evil? Yes they are.
Cymraeg.
Noooooooo.
YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!
TO THE GIRL WHO KILLED KENNY....
Please do not despair of the male sex. We are not all creeps, it's just that we have never been allowed emotions.
We are taught that emotions belong to girls and that we should act "tough". I realise that this emotionless state is limiting as well as purposeful.
Us boys are okay, it's just that we don't make very good boyfriends.
The Next Big Thing in Religion.
I don't think they'll fall for it,
BUT NICE TRY.
HEY 'ZINE,
I don't like this place at all,
The words are too long and my brain too small,
Please could you dumb down for me,
Or else I'll be forced to leave,
For somewhere where I can,
Read all the words and still understand.
The Third Pseudonym.
OH.
COMELY 'ZINERS,
There was this cow who had given birth to a dead cow baby.
The farmer and his wife threw it off a cliff because it was dead. The mummy cow went insane and followed its scent to the cliff top and jumped off too.
Love, in an I'm-sad-for-the-cow way.
Amphetamine
Very amoosing. A good beefy story that
DOESN'T MINCE ITS WORDS.
