The Mega-Zine Museum
September 1, 1998
CAPTAIN WASP I have been observing these pages for a while now, and I've come to the conclusion that you are all really individual. I bet you own CBs as well. Over and out. CBs? A trifle '80s, don't you think?
THE SILVER GIRL I don't see why you 'Ziners should worry, Backchat is for not so serious people, nosy parkers and the bucket people of this world!!! I guess they have to go somewhere.
SPHINX If a ghost became drunk, would it be a methylated spirit? Ho Ho Ho
DEAR ALL,
I've been away for just two months and when I return what do I find? 'Zine has become obsessed with Alan Titchmarsh, paperclips and Bindis. What happened?
Anyway, now that I'm back I'm going again. I'm off to Uni, so unless I work out how to use the Internet, e-mail and other technological advances that have previously passed by me, this is my last letter. Boo hoo.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
The BB Man
See you next month then...
COLLEGE BOY
DARLING WLW,
The fear sets in, I search in vain...
my letter is not there again.
I thought that it was sure to win a prize,
but now it's in the bin.
"White Line Warrior", I curse and yell,
"Sometimes I wish you'd go to...
...Florida on a nice two-week holiday.
Lots of love,
The Beautiful One
Sucking up to me will
GET YOU EVERYWHERE
LISTEN UP!
Children's dictionaries are the epitome of evil! They trick children into thinking that they'll teach them to spell, when you need to be able to spell to use one anyway!
Join me in my ongoing battle to ban such evil, thus preventing the new generation from becoming illiterate, and safeguarding the legacy of 'Zine long after we're gone...
The Sassy Piglet
This litte piggy's gone to
CUCKOO LAND!
'ZINERS ET AL,
If I could have a one to one with anyone, I'd choose Wild Bill Hiccup and ask him who directed "Nobody Cares".
No, actually I'd ask Richard Whiteley "what the footage is going on with the title sequence?", and if Carol cheats at the numbers game.
I would also ask him where he buys his snazzy ties and if he thought it was worth buying that really big clock.
MKIIJL, Endbringer
I'd ask your parents
"WHERE DID YOU GO WRONG?"
