The Mega-Zine Museum
August 15, 1998
SMASHED CHINA JUG When it's high tide the fish drink the water = low tide. After a while they wee it out = high tide. It's not the moon, it's fish. So that's why the sea's so salty.
THE MERMAID WHO LIVED IN A TEACUP You are all figments of my imagination. In that case can you imagine me a bit taller please?
WILD BILL HICCUP Who directed "They Died with their Boots on?" Michael Curtiz?... No! Raoul Walsh. You got me!
DEAR 'ZINE,
My local church can ring its bells to wake me up on Sunday morning and put out signs preaching "Jesus Saves", thereby offending my sensibilities.
If I painted my house with Satanic messages and blasted death metal from the windows, I would be duly arrested.
Paradox? Or just a sign of how outdated we Brits are?
Frostistick.
Jesus Vs Satan, toe to toe,
WHO'S THE HARDEST?
'ZINERS,
Question: If you could play any three guitar riffs perfectly, what would they be?
In my book it would be Metallica's "Through the Never", "The Riverboat Song" (TFI), and the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" theme music.
Will-D-Beast.
The old "Rupert the Bear" theme had
A WICKED RIFF ON IT
HI 'ZINERS,
To anyone who hasn't heard of Happy Hardcore, ignore Mad Matt.
This "music" is far from excellent. It's mindless rubbish filled with cheesy speeded-up vocal samples and tacky "happy" piano sections.
If it's so great then why do people at raves have to take drugs to enjoy it?
Curmudgeon.
Hey, the Chipmunks had to move on
TO SOMETHING!
