The Mega-Zine Museum
August 2, 1998
THE HEAVY FEATHER You never print my letters. It upsets me, therefore I will grow up and become a criminal. Are you happy now? Okay okay okay.
NINJA MANSTER Print this aimless comment and surprise me. No.
NON-STICKY BINDI My disrespectful younger sister has taken to refering to me as "no stilky building". You should hear what my brother calls me.
DEAR VIEWERS,
Why do girls punish themselves? They wear short skirts in winter, painful high heels and eye watering mascara.
They go through the pain of leg waxing and agony of eye-brow plucking and they do it all voluntarily.
And to top it all off, they then date the most arrogant and uncaring lads possible. Girls, eh.
The Lotus Eater
Hell hath no fury like a
BLOKE SCORNED, METHINKS.
DEAR WLW'S BODYGUARD,
Not fit to be a 'Ziner hey? Well at least if I were to send in a list of things that had something in common they really would have something in common!
Obviously WLW doesn't want his/her choice of nail varnish colour public knowledge or WLW doesn't like you and wrote your list in purple to purposely flaw you! Ha!
WLW, your bodyguard should be sacked!
(Annoying bellybutton) Fluff
I don't need a bodyguard, my BO
KEEPS MOST PEOPLE AT BAY.
DEAR MEGAZINE,
Xenophobia. We all hate Germans and laugh at Americans. Why?
I tell you why Americans are the funniest; they are all clinically obese, and have you ever watched Rikki Lake? They are the dumbest nation on Earth.
And Germans; stonewashed denim, Kraftwork, David Hasselhof, sausages.
I rest my case.
The Uncommercial Traveller.
Und ich glaube dass Leute aus Bristol
SIND DORF! (UND DICK).
WATCH AND LEARN,
One of the most entertaining things to do when you're bored is to pick someone and watch what they do.
Take parties, for instance. You'll see a bloke ogling women, trying to dance and failing to pull on numerous occasions. Women will dance in groups, not drink but act drunk and go to the loo in pairs.
Strangely fascinating viewing.
The Silver Seraph.
I watch my boss all day, and he does
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
