The Mega-Zine Museum
August 1, 1998
HOLY GHOSTS AND TALKSHOW HOSTS 'Ziners beware! Market people are evil. They shout and yell at us so we become trapped in their web of fruit, veg and evil. Ice cream men, sheep, market folk, me. Hmm. If only a pattern were emerging.
THE REVEREND GOAT Society's great thinkers seem neurotic or obsessive, so stay happy and stupid. Yeah... wot?
WILD BILL HICCUP Who directed High Noon? Fred Zinneman.
DARLING 'ZINERS,
It's time for a new debate. What are the most underrated things in life? Here are my nominations:
- Looking at the stars, the most beautiful light show ever created.
- The music of Faure and Gershwin.
- Running along a golden beach while eating Poptarts.
Nominations please (the weirder the better).
The Beautiful One.
Poptarts? You should
WATCH YOUR FIGURE.
TO ANYONE,
The definition of a tasty lad is:
- Big lips
- Skinny hips
- Beatles haircut
- Wears lipstick or eyeliner
- Looks as if he's just woken up and not gone to any trouble, but still looks wonderful.
I'm still searching.
The Little Charlatan.
Easy. Just get Bobbie Gillespie and
PUNCH HIM IN THE MOUTH.
TO THE WARRIOR OF THE WHITE LINE,
Karl Marx once said that property is theft because the workers are never paid the same amount as they produce.
If they were, then how would companies make a profit?
They wouldn't, as all money would go to the workers and the companies would shut due to lack of funds, ergo no more South Park, Sainsburys, civilisation etc.
Capitalist Anarchist & World Cup Willy
Boris Yeltsin answers: "Hghhh-brrrrll-
YER MA BES PAL YOO ARE - HIC!"
TO SILVER SERAPH,
Using footie as a pulling tactic just does not work.
As a sly girlie I swotted up like mad on World Cup teams only to find that the lads were too engrossed in the matches to listen to my wisdom.
Jaffa cakes are a much better way of finding a bloke - if they don't appreciate the choc and orange-ness, sack 'em!
Midget Gem
Glenn Hoddle says: "It would've worked
IF WE'D STAYED IN THE CUP LONGER."
