The Mega-Zine Museum
July 1, 1998
SAUCY SCRUMPIT What does WLW stand for? - Weird Letter Wrecker? You mean you don't even know? I'm hurt.
I DON'T SHOW UP IN PHOTOS Don't you think UFOs could just be people getting bored with their plates and saucepans and throwing them out of the window? Or Aliens trying to pass themselves off as crockery.
LITHIUM GROOVE/ALUMINIUM SIMPSON Anyone else obsessed with the periodic table? Alkali metals rule! Halogens suck! Oh for goodness' sake!
DEAR 'ZINI PEEPS,
Last night I went to the local swimming pool and completely submerged all my televisual equipment in the water.
When the explosion died down, I dyed the water purple and let tropical fish swim around the wreck.
I next called upon a blue and yellow haired wizard to turn me into a a mermaid.
I then lounged around on the video and called it art.
Non-StickyBindi.
Yes. I bet it was in the
SHALLOW END!
'ZINERS,
You want pure evil? GARDENERS are the most evil of all! Alan Titchmarshalikes go on about how they adore all plant forms and then ... go and kill WEEDS!
Why oh why do they do it? Weeds are helpless, they have been singled out. It's a weed holocaust.
Gardeners stop killing weeds! You're only jealous 'cos they can reincarnate themselves faster than you.
Peach.
Don't fight it Peach, you clearly
FANCY ALAN TITCHMARSH!!!!
DEAR BEAUTIFUL ONE,
Size only matters if you let it. I am overweight but I am friends with the people I want and I pull the blokes I want. Don't be conformist, I am happy and can also have a choc feast whenever I want.
You must be very insecure if you think people only like you if you're thin.
Are you sure your friends like you? It seems they might be having you on.
Indie Kidder.
Beauty is only skin deep, whereas fat
IS GENUINELY SUBSTANTIAL!
EAU ROUGE,
Paperclips come in different colours and can make little chains, big deal!
As far as I know you can't hurt someone nearly as much with a box of paperclips as you can with a staple gun and a box of staples.
Now it's Paperclips 1 - Staples 1.
Staples cause pain, PAIN, PAIN! My staples will win.
Bouncy Rat.
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