The Mega-Zine Museum
March 13, 1998
CHILLING CHUNTA My demands for '98 - return of Roxette, vanish of Vanilla, separation of Spice Girls, more Michael Stipe, amazing A Levels, and snow, raining bottles of Tia Maria, and a female chunta. Chuntastic!
THE MAD FERRET Ickle Blob Creature: I think you're onto something, with orange oceans. Luminous orange is the next big thing. The orange revolution begins. I think you're a bit segmented!
BABY-BEL Where does the future of music lie? We seem to have explored all.
TO ALL WHO REMEMBER ME:
I was on my way to LONDON where THIS CHARMING MAN told me that THE QUEEN IS DEAD. At that point I said to myself HEAVEN KNOWS I'M MISERABLE NOW.
So I went BACK TO THE OLD HOUSE where I found my GIRLFRIEND IN A COMA. "Those SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD," I said. Mind you she was only HALF A PERSON.
The service was conducted by a VICAR IN A TUTU at the CEMETERY GATES. I had to ask HOW SOON IS NOW?... to which he replied: "DON'T PANIC... THESE THINGS TAKE TIME."
Mr Shankly Speaking Frankly
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn
MAKE TRACKS NOW, OR SING A NEW SONG!
SPLIT PERSONALITY
Not all blokes disregard people's feelings. I may be a "spiky-haired little upstart" according to a strange woman in Tesco's but I've been out with a fair amount of girls and have never treated any of them badly.
I don't want to undermine you, but think before you tar us all with the same brush or I'll make you eat a large amount of custard from Chernobyl.
The Reverend Goat
You've got his goat now, split while
YOU CAN. HE TREATS HIS NANNIES RIGHT!
'ZINERS
If bands were kitchen implements or objects then Radiohead would be the extra sharp knives hidden at the back of the drawer.
Beck (OK, I know he's not a band and that it's predictable, but I couldn't resist) would be the fridge, Oasis would be the forks (basically a copy of every other fork that existed) and the Spice Girls would be the cacky toaster that wrecks everything that's put into it.
Marthature
I quite fancy the idea of Nirvana in
MY MICROWAVE, SMELLS LIKE DINNER!
IN THE FORM OF GARDENIAS
...and the epitaph on Mary Morgan's tombstone... The Grand Inquisitor and Executioner (Dr Cooper) sits in Powys with complete disregard of the law. The women in Powys do not have a single representative?
And when Michaelangelo lay on his back for years painting the Sistine Chapel, did "cheesy" people drop by and yell up at him (from the bottom of the ladder) "Oi, Mickey mate! That's an unhealthy obsession you've got there"! and drag him away... Hmmm?
Simplistic Balista
He lived 'til 70 so they would have had
PAINT ON THEIR FACE IF THEY DID!
