The Mega-Zine Museum
December 4, 1997
HOLLIE'S FELLA I do know the song and I'm sure it appeared in Independence Day, and I completely agree REM are one of the best groups around. But the thing that puzzles me most is where are all the Tom Jones fans? Am I the only one? Not unusual...
ALBERTANIC MARTIAN May the Mmmbop be with you. Keep it brief and all that!
LU-LAA The people on Malpzhon hate the Spice Girls. They love fizzy pop, pop-corn, pizzas, fairy cakes and the Teletubbies... Jelly and icecream too? ...uh!
LAMENT ON SHAVING
Infernal spines sprout from my chin
I shave them off: they grow back again.
A lifelong chore four times a week.
What's so attractive about my cheeks?
Why is it that I must show them off?
Two pink, flat things,
And a couple of spots.
Myopic Melon
As you're short-sighted you cannot see
THE APPEAL IN BEING BARE-CHEEKY!
DEAR RED CHIPOLATA
In response to your plea for names for your fishy friends, I hereby baptise them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy WLW:
Scarlet Sausage, Bob the blood-red Banger (Fishy Robert #2), Frank Furtez, Jimmy Saveloy.
Give a big 'Zine welcome to Scarlet, Bob, Frank and Jimmy.
And as punishment for appearing on Backchat, Bob the Fish should rename himself Bobby the Gould-fish (sorry!)
Sunflower Supernova
Now Red Chipolata has a cumberland task
OF DECIDING. IT'S A GRAVY MATTER...
TO WHOEVER WAS WONDERING ABOUT IT...
Alternative already is trendy, and that's why there are so many loud-mouth townies with an unhealthy obsession with addidas tracksuits, who then steal your tiara and jump up and down on it all night, for purely malicious reasons, at every Manics gig.
Forgotten Fairy, with a broken tiara.
(- and I can't find a new one anywhere, sniff!)
Manic shell-suits? Horrible idea
BUT A TIARA? - YOU BIG FAIRY!
DEAR 'ZINE
I think it's so unfair the way bears are discriminated against when it comes to clubs. The other week I tried to get into a night club and was told I couldn't by the bouncer because I was made of the wrong stuffing.
What's wrong with good quality sawdust? I know it's trendy to have the designer "cubed sponge" but it's beyond my bear budget.
What's a bear to do? Even machine sewn bears are being refused entrance!
Twickernham Bear (slam Backchatters, slam them all!)
Stuff it, Twickernham, you can jive
YOUR GRIZZLY BEAR BODY ON 'ZINE
