Mega-Zine
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June 29, 1997

MR FLOPPY has five things to do after exams: eat a huge bar of choc, smile at strangers, go busking, consider a career in ice-cream tasting and learn to yodel.

THE NEVER-ENDING WANDERING TIGERMAN has five questions: why do men have nipples? Is Posh Spice's face stuck in the same position because the wind changed direction? Has Sporty Spice got hairy legs? Do most people who claim to like Oasis really like Gina G? And, is WLW a bit smelly? Dunno, yes, dunno, probably, certainly not.

 

DEAR 'ZINE

How come whenever I go on a bus and flash my pass the driver always goes 'Oi! Son! Back 'ere and show it properly!'?

When an old granny or a bloke in a suit gets on and does the same they get no hassle. Do I look dodgy or something?

Mr Floppy

Sounds like you're being paranoid.

THE BUS DRIVER PROBABLY HATES YOU!

 

DEAR 'ZINE

I went out, got drunk, got my nails painted pink.

Now my friends think I'm weird but I don't care.

Love to all from Nicky's Ricky

I trust you insisted your nails were

SOAKED IN WARM SOAPY WATER FIRST?

 

ODE TO A CHEMISTRY TEACHER

She is a mixture of several different elements, mainly carbon. She lives on equations.

Her life revolves around the different numbers of atoms in a compound. My life stops on Tuesday to avoid wasting precious hours of my sad life to chemistry.

Kmari7

If your life's sad how can its hours be

PRECIOUS?

 

DEAR 'ZINE

All that you
    have to do
  to write
   poetry
    these days
is to chop up an
    ordinary paragraph like
this
 and put a question
mark at
  the end?

Negative Creep

Have you read The Artist by

WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS?