The Mega-Zine Museum
June 6, 1997
VOMAGE FRAIS Have you noticed the way, when you see a nice member of the opposite sex, your chin inevitably erupts into a join-the-dots series of custard tarts? Yuk. Pure Vomage material! (You'll soon graduate)
DAVE from PRESTWICH @ Ritz, charmed Chloe B @ Ritz 23rd June... fax CENSORED. Slip me a fiver later...
MA & PA CATT say take heart, that boring old fool you suffer at Christmas was once a boring young one who's had a lifetime of practice! Yawn!
DEAR 'ZINE
I'm just doing my first year A-levels. I'm finding it difficult doing two and I start a third next year.
If you think you can breeze your GCSEs, don't be fooled into thinking you can do the same with your A-levels because they're tough - like two-day old liver.
Crimmeny Jicket
Have a heart, Crimmeny!
IT'S NOT ALL THAT OFFAL!
DEAR 'ZINE
I have solved the world's greatest mystery: when did the 'Zine go downhill?
It was just over a year ago when pop's greatest tragedy took place. Teenage girls didn't eat for weeks, boys worried for their safety.
The day Take That split. All colourful discussions on the 'Zine disappeared.
If we want the 'Zine to be good again we are going to have to start a campaign called Save Us, Ressurect'Em (SURE).
Mystic Meg's Kitten
Not so happy with resurrecting them,
BUT SAVE US - SURE - LET THEM R.I.P!
DEAR 'ZINE WARNING TO 'ZINERS
Don't leave new trainers near untrained kittens.
Let me explain: My new £65 Vans trainers lay by the front door. Just before putting them on I noticed a peculiar smell.
My kitten, Zero, watched as I looked inside. There it was, knocking out anything within a 10-mile radius. Pee!
I was gutted. Let this be a warning!
Basket Case
Sounds like that kitten has marked its
TERRITORY - DON'T UPSET HIM AGAIN!
DEAR 'ZINESTERS
Why is it that when I'm watching the TV feeling very thirsty, therefore getting myself a drink, the commercial breaks aren't long enough?
Yet they are really long if I'm not?
I mean I get up and put the milk in the microwave, heat it, put in the chocolate, get back to the TV and put it on and Father Ted's already started!
Pig on the Rampage
Father Ted's already started what, eh?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST READ A GOOD BOOK?
