The Mega-Zine Museum
May 4, 1997
WASP FACTORY WORKER has met people at university who haven't seen Star Wars and who find Friends funny. WLW saw Star Wars in 1977.
EARTHWORM JOHN begs Pig on the Rampage to come back. Only you can cheer up our wormy friend.
SUPERFURRY CUCUMBER would like to reassure those poor souls out there who can't get Channel 5 that it's rubbish.
FRANK AND CARLOS are in love with Sandrine but they don't know it yet.
A POEM ABOUT THE SPICE GIRLS
Spice Girls, Spice Girls
All round nice girls.
You're so cool and you make boys drool.
Posh Girl, Posh Girl,
expensive-taste Gucci girl,
show your teeth for a while,
we would love to see you smile.
Em oh Em, you're a blonde gem
with your lovely blonde hair.
The boys would love to see you bare.
The rest are cool as well,
except Geri, because she smells!
Amberfield School, Nacton, Ipswich
Have you been close enough to Geri
TO COP A NOSTRILFUL?
DEAR PSYCHOPATH WITH THE PERFECT TEETH
You are talking rubbish about covers of songs. Mariah Carey doing Firestarter? Don't be daft!
Songs should be left the way they are so people remember the real versions.
Mellow Guy with Even Better Teeth
Change your name to Boring Twit with
NO SENSE OF HUMOUR.
STRANGE BUT TRUE
I have yet to meet a person who has never visited the dentist. I believe I am one of an elite group of people who are yet to participate in this seemingly common practice.
My teeth are truly perfect. They are white, straight and do not belong to a psychopath. Do other 'ziners belong to this exclusive club?
Bleached yet Beautiful Blonde from Braintree
What's so exclusively tremendous
ABOUT ALL THIS, THEN?
SNORKEL LINE DANCING
Get some people (real or imaginary) and stand in a line with them, shoulder to shoulder.
Hold your nose (and they theirs).
Wiggle your free hand up and down as if you were snorkelling.
At the same time walk in a dance-like way like line dancers do.
Byte bye Byte
The third instruction will make you
LOOK LIKE A GOSPEL SINGER
