The Mega-Zine Museum
November 17, 1996
CIRCLE LINE says in GREAT BIG LETTERS to leave Kula Shaker alone.
BINKY THE DOORMAT despairs of 'Sadidas' kids in their shiny trousers and duvet jackets, their Nike Air Max trainers (blue and gold) and bad taste in music.
PIG ON THE RAMPAGE points out that if the earth's tilt was any different we'd either burn up or freeze. That proves, she says, there's a God.
THE UNIQUE ONE has five suggestions for
band names: Stardust, Laser, Horizon,
SIESTA, THE ICONS
TEN THINGS TO DO IF YOU'RE BORED
- Bake a big sticky chocolate cake
- Have a space hopper race around town
- Crimp your hair, it's so Eighties
- Go charity shopping with £10
- Sing at the top of your voice anywhere
- Visit your gran
- Write to a long-lost pen pal
- Go rollerblading
- Watch Star Wars or Labyrinth
- Listen to a band you've never heard of
Confusion the Waitress
Memorise The Jumblies by Edward Lear,
RAKE THE LEAVES AND GET GLOWY CHEEKS
DEAR NAMELESS ONE
I used to have the same problem with Terry's Chocolate Oranges not breaking when tapped.
The best solution I could find was to 'tap' the orange with a 12kg hammer. It usually had the desire effect.
Once the chocolate was recovered from the hole in the floor, you've only to lick the remainer off the walls and furniture.
Parking a large family saloon on the choc also helps.
OWLY
Extreme measures in extreme times, eh?
WHY NOT BUY A CURLY WURLY INSTEAD?
DEAR 'ZINE
Sol Campbell's face is absolutely massive. Sol Campbell's face could comfortably accommodate a large supermarket.
It is the same distance from Manchester to Blackpool as it is from the top of Sol Campbell's forehead to the underside of his chin.
A Northern soul
And he may soon have a head as big as
AN ENGLAND INTERNATIONAL
ANTI-CLASSIC FILM REVIEW - XANADU (1980)
Described by critics as "so mushy and limp it evaporates before your eyes", I beg to differ.
Xanadu is brilliant, a colourful silly tale of a muse sent to inspire an ageing musician and a struggling artist.
Lots of great music and outfits, Gene Kelly on rollerskates, and a gorgeous Olivia Newton-John.
Orpheus
DEAR 'ZINE
What happened to Kate Cobain? She was on almost every week telling us what gigs she had been to.
Come back Kate, we miss you.
Spy Tim
