August 22, 1996

JCSMRSNBMWCD says he saw a car in Newcastle with a WLW 7 number plate. There's an imposter on the loose!

THE QUEEN OF SCOUSELAND wrote a one-off uncomplimentary letter about Joyrider's Cliff Richard jibes. He's soon going to be a crying doll if she catches him!

MRS GENTRY & THE WANNABE sarkily say WLW is actually Turner The Worm (496) and that Dr Strange is actually Glug (495). Wrong, wrong, wrong...!

GIL-GALAD thinks Oasis should support

Prodidgy, not the other way around!



WLW, you're so witty,
I plead and beg, please take pity.
Print my poem on the screen
And promise you won't be mean.

I read your comments everyday,
Always delighting in what you say.
No clues you ever give
About who you are or where you live.

WLW you are so sweet,
Hip and trendy,
and so very neat.
Never rude, always shrewd.

WLW you're so cool, you rule!

Moist Luscious Red Lips

I can't believe it, I'm blushing!



You never thank me for the things I send you.

Are you just astonishingly ungrateful, or is Paul Goddard pilfering such fabulous treasures as an unused ticket for Natalie Merchant's show at Shepherds Bush (two months after the gig) and a 1995/96 Chelsea fixture list?

Just what do I have to do for you to say something kind?

Morrissey, disputing the bill

You've no hope, you're a Chelsea fan!



We would like to apologise for:

  • Putting mints in salt and pepper pots
  • Leaving tips of 2p and a sticker
  • Drawing Menswear on the napkins
  • Leaving mid-pizza to meet other mates
  • Taking a photo of a gorgeous waiter

The Average Believer and Pita Panic

Hail, last of the big spenders!



Being the sad old soul that I am, I watched the men's Olympic 50km walk.

The only thing I can say is that whoever created this ridiculous event obviously couldn't run very fast, but still fancied the thought of a gold medal. Thus they decided to walk.

Sorry, but like a fake tan, a walking race just isn't natural.

Binky The Doormat


LORD ZELTAR loves Slayer's Divine Intervention. Sounds more like WLW's words of wisdom on vinyl!