The Mega-Zine Museum
May 25, 1996
JAMES DI GRIZ. Grovelling is wonderful but a good, SHORT ('Zine page length), amusing, deep, witty and INTERESTING letter is all y'need to get on screen!
DREAMING DRUMMER asks why, if there are "nice cups of tea", aren't there "nasty cups of tea". Not much call, me thinks!
HYZENPHLAY, WATERSHIP DOWN. Hope you had a lovely time in the Lake District last weekend. I love it there too!
AFKA GONZO'S GIRLF sent me an amazing fruity stickers album - top banana!
I suppose having a boyfriend like Gonz
WOULD TURN ANYONE INTO A FRUITCAKE!
DEAR 'ZINE
I've been called some pretty unflattering names on 'Zine before, but politician is a litle below the belt.
Have you ever seen Prime Minister's Question Time? It's no more than a pompous version of playground bickering. If any rope me in with that inept, rowdy lot, I demand an apology!
Surly Hermit, not the Rt. Hon
Sorry, but WLW is too honourable and
POLITICALLY CORRECT TO DO SO!
DEAR 'ZINE
Why do I bother? There's this really nice cafe in my town but there is always just one problem:
Every time I go in and order a chocolate milkshake, the waitress, without fail, says: "We're all out of chocolate, but there's plenty of pineapple flavour."
It's hardly surprising they have so much pineapple: it isn't on the menu!
The Average Believer
Do 'em a favour and scribble it on.
SAY IT COSTS £4.42 IN 'ZINE MONEY!
DEAR IRON LION
Maybe it's just me, but I can't help but think that your boxing competition might be fixed.
You see, you run it and you have two entries. So just who do you think you are - Don King?
The Joyrider
Just fight it out amongst yourselves
BOXING JUST FLATTENS MY INTEREST!
REASONS NOT TO EAT SWEETS IN PUBLIC
- You can't talk
- You look greedy
- Everyone else wants one
- You can't take them out of your mouth, look at them and put them back in again (saddo!)
- And you can't laugh, whistle or sing
TOYTOWN
Help! Toytown has become a pretty dodgy place to cross the road.
Noddy just races down the road, trying to run over dollies and fluffy bunnies. I bet this doesn't do any good for his "No Claims" insurance. Then again, he does look like a five-year-old so maybe he doesn't have any.
Still, he does have a hat with a bell so he must be a party animal.
Bernard, the Slinky Mongoose
Perhaps Noddy watches Eddie Irvine
CRASHING TOO OFTEN IN GRANDS PRIX!
