Mega-Zine
Icon

May 12, 1996

COCK EYED KATE is desperate to know why Smartie packs have little letters on the tops? Answers on a postcard!

AGEING ADOLESCENT, NEW ATLANTIS wants us all to be happy for Savo and Time Lord. It seems they have ridden off into the sunset together.

MISTRESS PSYCHO wants a perfect world. This would be achieved if Lily Savage was made prime minister. WLW is trying to arrange this as we speak.

Meatless Puppet please stop sneezing.

I give up explaining what WLW stands

FOR. I WILL BE WHATEVER YOU WANT!

 

DEAR FLAMING FLAMINGO

Get a life! Noone wants to read about flamingos! Iron Lion realised this when he started writing about antelopes, so he dropped the antelope part and began to write about interesting subjects.

Now it's your turn. Go away and don't come back till you've found something decent to write about.

The Prodegy's Piromaniac apprentice

 

WAYS TO STOP A CAT BITING YOU

  1. Bite it first.
  2. Cunningly squirt a little superglue in its food, so that its jaws become permanently stuck together.
  3. When it's not looking, file its fangs blunt.
  4. Tie a mouse to its tail so that it becomes absorbed in trying to claw it.
  5. Pretend to be a dog.

Jiffylube (on a bender)

Is it not simpler to give it a bowl

OF WHISKAS AND A SOPPY CUDDLE?

 

DEAR 'ZINE

My mum reckons that if that bloke who wrote in about Rainbow can remember when the theme song went something like "up above the streets and houses...." then he's too old for the 'Zine, cos it hasn't had that tune for about 20 years!

Are the olds taking over? I think we should be told.

Olds out! Love and peace

Tee Pee, here in my car

 

WHAT IS 'ZINE?

Is it some sort of secret spy network? Are the letters really code? Is life just a dream?

A platform for future writers to ITV's 'Write On' letters page? A coming together of the world's great minds?

Alternatively, is it just an obscure youth Teletext magazine?

The Joyrider

 

LOOKING FOR MY FRIENDS

I'm Dodgy from the planet DooDar. I am trying to find my friends Doppy, Dilly and Dilf after our spaceship crash landed on Earth, and we all got chased in different directions by what you call 'a flock of sheep'.

TAMMY