The Mega-Zine Museum
May 11, 1996
SIR MR BLOBBY'S Y-FRONTS OBE has a list of Sad Things: Trekkies, jelly that isn't green, caravans, people who say "whoops!", health food shops, people who watch the 6 AND 9 o'clock news. Weak elderflower cordial is worse. WLW says "whoops-a-daisy!" It MUST be cool.
THE HAPPY INDIE LAD thinks the yellow blob influences the way 'ziners think.
THE URBAN COWGIRL is desperate for the address of the Richie Sambora fanclub.
MOI has written "brilliant" about 200
times. He has a lot of time on his
HANDS. WHY DON'T YOU BAKE OR SUMMAT?
DEAR 'ZINE
I'm so disenchanted with GB politics. None of the parties understand us and don't represent our interests.
My manifesto
Environment: ban cars, no N'bury bypass
Employment: no fat cat bosses; salaries shared among unemployed
Industry: Britain first, forget EU
Health: no private health; more doctors
Education: no private education; it creates thick toffs who get to the top because they're rich.
Northern Soul
DEAR HIGHBURY HEDGEHOG
Us poets surely are not rare.
There must be tons of us out there
munching on a juicy pear,
giving WLW a scare.
I think all poets need to share
their tartan underwear
instead of writing to the 'Zine
where WLW doesn't care.
The Lovely Scorchio! Pizza
AN ODE TO PHYSICS
Physics, you do cause me pain.
You try your best to burst my brain.
Your Newton, Watt and Becquerel
all help to make my life pure hell.
If you have the misfortune to be sitting a physics exam, good luck.
And remember the definition of physics revision: pain Jim, but not as we know it.
The Overcooked Kidney Bean
Moles and molarity made me sweat.
I NEVER DID FATHOM THE CON-CEPT.
TO THE VDU THINGAMEBOB IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM
Vampire wannabes? Fake vampires? Alas, you have discovered my secret for I am not a vampire by a picture hanging on the wall who likes to write to my mate the television. NOT.
The Vampire Goddess, genuine
