The Mega-Zine Museum
April 24, 1996
VELVET THISTLE says long live the Tangerine Baron!
THE DEVIL (DOWN IN GEORGIA) agrees, Lost in Space was right - Garbage were cool at Cambridge!
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE says Turkish Delight and black nail polish make the world go round!
BERNARD THE CONSUMER MONGOOSE wants us all to stay sharp and look slinky! Obviously this is a natural state for WLW to be in.
Swirly Whirly wants everyone to buy
NEW SINGLE 'CELEBRITY HIT LIST'
DEAR 'ZINE
Cold wet cabbages and a bucket of jelly (preferably lime) are the key to exam success.
I have found over the holidays that by arranging cabbage leaves on my head like a wig and putting bare feet into the jelly my revision has been much easier.
By following this technique, you too could be in with a chance of passing German!
Fat Man
DEAR PURPLE APPLE EATER
I will put you out of your misery. I wondered what a rollmop is too, and so I looked in the dictionary. It says:
"A rolled, uncooked pickled herring fillet"
So now you know.
The Poo
Wasn't that just so obvious? Don't
YOU THINK I KNEW THAT ALREADY?!
DEAR 'ZINE
I have been roped into going to see Paul Weller at Finsbury Park. I'm scared. Is it going to be full of old people who are cultivating their eyebrows?
If I have a good time - fantastic. If I don't it doesn't matter - I didn't pay for the ticket.
I win both ways! Is anyone else going?
Miss CrouchEnder
DEAR 'ZINE
People must be made aware of the growing trend in cat theft.
Does anyone realise that these people plant their own cats in other people's houses and then they ring the police to report them stolen?!?!
I have been victim to such malice several times.
Lord Vetinari, almost annoyed
I need to ask a question. Where
EXACTLY DO THEY GET THE KEYS FROM?
DEAR 'ZINE
I think we've all established what kind of comic genius Lestat really is. His highly original jokes and blisteringly amusing letters are second to none.
Why he's even better than that mirth-making comedian Bob Monkhouse! Lestat is someone whom other 'Zinesters can look up to and learn from...
On second thoughts, bring back Bob Monkhouse.
Drum Girl Derry, laughing last
I thought it was too good to be true,
ONE 'ZINER BEING NICE TO ANOTHER!
