The Mega-Zine Museum
April 23, 1996
AFKA GONZO'S GIRLF happily obliged WLW and listed 80 things better than jelly. She leads a very strange life.
JAY wants to know if Purple Apple Eater is so because she's purple and eats apples or does it mean she eats purple apples? Damned if I know!
THE GREAT CHIEFTAIN thinks some bright people were lost in the toilets on the Starship Enterprise. Ask Scotty to beam you up and take a look. Vulcan!
WHIT CANE gives a rebellious run down
on rebellion that isn't very Oasis-
FRIENDLY. A CASE OF BLURRED VISION!
DEAR 'ZINE
We have lost our great friend Neville the Jellyfish. He is particularly noticeable as he has a pet slug called Charles who rides skateboard with him.
It is feared that he may have been abducted by 'Zine activists and held prisoner as the infamous yellow blob in the corner.
Help us!
Kit & Kat, founders of the Jellyfish Appreciation Society (JAS)
USES FOR MY UNPRINTED LETTERS
- Make papier mache replicas of the yellow blob and sell them as official 'Zine merchandise.
- Scrunch them up and stuff them into Iron Lion's mouth for instant drivel relief.
- Make organic figures of what you imagine us all to look like - pin on the dartboard if necessary.
Surly Hermit, trying to be unfunny
Then again we could always just print
YOUR LETTERS, BUT IT ISN'T EASY!
DEAR WHITE LINE WARRIOR
You always criticise people, saying they never have anything interesting to say. Well, try these interesting facts for size:
- The collective noun for a group of jellyfish is spank.
- Quadragesima is the 40 days of fast before Easter, probably known to you as Lent.
Satisfied?!
The Non-Human Homo Sapiens
DEAR 'ZINESTERS
Have you noticed the sky is blue? People think I'm mad, but I'm quite sane. It's all an act. I'm not really strange, just a frustrated artist.
I see my friend Gonzo is on 'Zine in some guise. We lost touch when the Muppets finished. But now I've had some treatment and I'm ready to play my drums in public again.
Animal - I'm Back!
Pretty soon we'll have the whole
MUPPET SHOW CAST ON 'ZINE. BOO!
DEAR 'ZINE
I notice some people are trying to get the 'Zine back to its proud pre-surrealism days. About time!
To help it along I propose we find the best rhyme that was ever in a song.
My favourite is from The Kinks' Dead End Street:
"And my feet are nearly frozen, Jean-Paul Georgian Ringo Pre-surreal. You defeat your desire WITH YOUR AMALGAMATED NAME!
