The Mega-Zine Museum
April 14, 1996
COCK-EYED KATE is puzzled why Smarties have little letters on the tops. Maybe some people's life ambition is to collect the whole alphabet!
PATO talked about high horses and the real world. Like a bad jockey, he lost the run of himself and fell off. Ha!
FEMALE VERSION OF GARTH warns Joyrider that Wayne hasn't yet recovered but she will be after you. Time to worry (not)!
TARDID CLEANER reckons Time Lord is the saddest yet. Welcome to the 90s.
Miss X asks why use a dictionary?
TO BECOME A WORDSMITH LIKE WLW!
DEAR 'ZINE
There were two cows in a field. The first cow turned to the second cow and said: "I'm a bit worried about this mad cow disease, aren't you?"
The second cow replied "Why?" The first cow retorted "Well, they're going to burn all the cows."
The second cow relied "It doesn't matter to me, I'm a helicopter."
Lestat, indisputably the original
DEAR 'ZINE
Watching morning TV during the holidays is great. I have now come to the conclusion that Anne from Good Morning With... is in fact a chipmunk in disguise.
Her characteristic sticking-out teeth give it away. I'm afraid her secret is out. I shall be investigating this matter further.
Purple Apple Eater
PS I've been watching too much TV!
There's nothing wrong with Anne
SHE IS THE PERFECT DIAMOND!
GREETINGS 'ZINESTERS
Which idiot decided that Lenny Kravitz be immortalised in Rock Circus? He's not a rock icon - he's an uninspiring, belated hippy.
His barrel-scraping 60s rock style is surely the most pointless escapade since the Campaign for Dark Skies. It can only be a matter of time before he's joined by Ray from 2 Unlimited.
Are the organisers cashing in on the old people's market?
Twig, the wonder
THE SECRET 'ZINESTERS
I think 'Zinesters are really:
- Ex-pop stars with nothing to do
- Students too knackered to do homework
- Net surfers who can't afford to get on the Internet
- Aliens trying to mingle with humans
- Musicians bored with their own riffs
A Space Monkey in a space zoo (with Teletext)
Some unscreened lingo Monkey wrote
COULD SEE HIM MADE SECRET FOREVER!
A THOUGHT
Does the Government realise many people suffer illness from being too near Man Utd's glory-hunting supporters?
We banned beef - should we ban Man Utd?
Savoess
