The Mega-Zine Museum
April 12, 1996
CALVIN has a pair of Magic Roundabout socks. Shouldn't you be reading Linear Algebra by A O Morris?
THE HAPPY INDIE LAD is sure Damon A sings the chorus of Egg-shaped Fred on Mansun's new EP.
CHRIS BURLEY thoroughly recommends Toy Story. Now buy the bubble bath, pencil, lunch box...
THE MILES AWAY GIRL and SATAN'S LOVE CHILD had a wunnerful time listening to the Wildhearts on Sunday night.
WLW had an even wunnerfuller time at
SUBTERRANIA WATCHING THE PHARCYDE.
MEGA-ZINE REPORT CARD
| Tath and Bob | - | overall quite good. More contributions required. |
| Iron Lion | - | Dismal failure. Shows occasional brilliance. |
| Surly Hermit | - | Not bad. Attracts lots of attention from girls. |
| Tanya's Dynamic Child | - | Poor attender who does little when she is in. |
The Joyrider, being a teacher
DEAR WLW
Half the pupils in my class are out-of-work teachers. How do I know? Bad language, dreadful discipline, asking for school dinners. The list is endless.
Mind you, the dole queues are shorter and at least the school has secure funding. I've even heard that the EU is considering an official scheme.
Wendy Wombat, Special Investigator
Where's the secure funding from?
BAD MANNERS ARE THE PARENTS' FAULT
GREETINGS 'ZINESTERS
We are extra-terrestrials from outer space. We come in peace but we will mutilate your bodies unless you do the following:
- Give us a permanent slot on Megazine.
- Play us Frank Sinatra LPs.
- Read us the Oxford Dictionary in bed.
- Print this letter... NOW.
Little Green Men, Cyberspace
I thought you said you were from OUTER space. Make up your minds, chaps.
TWO WAYS TO AVOID BSE
- Sneak up to a member of the bovine population and politely ask "Are you a cow?". If she says no, leave.
If yes, slaughter her then cook at gas mark 4 (180C). For a fuller flavour, marinade in a basin of seagull fat for five minutes. - Don't eat beef.
The 'Tache
Eat organic veal instead, with lemon
AND BUTTER. CAN'T BE BEAT.
A POEM
All of us are fractured souls wandering through life seeking the rest of ourselves.
Sometimes we're fortunate to meet someone who possesses our missing part.
We fit, we're soulmates.
Bloke with a Big Sword
