The Mega-Zine Museum
March 31, 1996
BOY WITH X-RAY EYES annoys his parents by making them cold cups of tea. It's great fun until they get revenge.
DIZZY INDIE DANDELION'S MUM says Thom Yorke looks like a young Johnny Rotten. She could be right, you know!
UGLY KID DAN'S love for Sarah is no more. Does she feel guilty? No!
THE SPUD-U-LIKE thinks Jimmy Greaves is head of all potatoes. So what is Saint - foot of all Endsleigh footy religion?
Braker the Turtle says remembering is
THE KEY TO EXAMS. WHAT AN INSIGHT!
BORED? THEN DO THE FOLLOWING
- Paint yourself green and post yourself to Peru
- Stand in the street and pretend you're a potato
- Go to the supermarkert in your trunks and pretend it's a swimming pool
- Try to sell double glazing to a double glazing company
Captain Ticker-Tape's Answerphone
DEAR FRANK
You have fallen into the same trap as me - being prejudiced against those who harbour prejudice.
Of course prejudice is wrong, but how many of us can honestly say we have never had bad feelings towards someone who looked down upon us without reason?
Very few, I think. So if I smell of silage, then so do you.
The Girl with the Thorn in her side
Listen girlie, what will prejudice
ACHIEVE? A THORN-FREE 'ZINE!
MY JOB PREDICTIONS FOR 'ZINESTERS
- Surly Hermit - Hull City streaker
- Tath - A violent criminal
- Bob - A friend of a violent criminal
- Joyrider - Trained irritation bloke
- AFKA Gonzo - Professional weirdo.
Iron Lion Antelope, a future yuppy puppy that no professional will like
DO THESE BEFORE LEAVING SCHOOL
- Entertain fellow pupils by singing Pulp's Babies during the Head of Year's speech.
- Threaten to beat up all the boys unless they write your name and love hearts all over the toilet walls.
- Dance through the halls in a long white dress showering people with flowers and saying "feel the power of the flowers".
A Common Person Wearing Lipgloss
Hope these antics land you with
A LONG DETENTION, FOOL!
MY PARENTS
MOTHER My mum's cool! She likes indie and rave music, reads my Superman and Spiderman comics and watches the X-Files. How cooler can you get?
FATHER Dad's also cool. His favourite film is Pulp Fiction, he drives a nifty car, watches MTV and reads the 'Zine.
Gwen Stacey Clone
Grounded for a month! How dare you use
US SO YOU CAN GROVEL TO THE FOLKS!
