The Mega-Zine Museum
February 11, 1996
LOST IN SPACE loves Pantera and he wants to tell Sweet Gothic Vampire. Are you happy now we made it flash?
CUCUMBER HARVEY thinks that in the 90s we are running out of everything: fossil fuel, trees, animals, fashion ideas. Also wild spaces, clean air...
LOST IN SPACE equates fuzzy hair with musical ability. The fuzzier the hair, the better the musician. You ARE lost in space, mate. Sheesh.
KING PHOENIX THE CREATOR is barking.
If YOU were all-powerful, what would
YOU DO TO MAKE THIS WORLD BETTER?
DEAR 'ZINE
Hi, I'm a right-handed teenager of medium height and weight. I'm a Blur and Pulp fan. I watch TV and go out with my friends. (This reminds me of the Lumberjack song by M Python - WLW)
What I want to know is, are there any other NORMAL 'Zinesters out there? Am I the only one?
Please, someone write to tell me I'm not alone in this post-modern society. Help.
Yam, holding on for tomorrow
DEAR 'ZINE
"Hallo, my name is Mr Pant," said Mr Pant to me. "Do you like my brand new pants?"
Alas, I could not see, for his pants were sparkly bright and burned out both my eyes. And all I ever saw again were pants around big mince pies.
Elmo B Bird, phantom pant poemer
PS When is your birthday WLW? I'll write you a birthday poem.
I sparked to life one stormy night in
THE DANK BOWELS OF TELETEXT
DEAR 'ZINE
How come all the Outhere Bros' songs consist of three or four words? Can't they think of anything else to say, or are they just stoopid?
How come my trews smell like an old lady wot's died?
Big 'ard Bloke and King of all Things
Your nauseating letter was handled
WITH TONGS AND A NOSE PEG. GO AWAY.
DEAR MEGA-ZINE
Indie music is rubbish! There's Pulp's Jarvis moaning about something, and Oasis' hard brothers Noel and Liam latching on to the Britpop scene.
They're all false and people only like them because they think it is cool to.
People should realise what Green Day are all about, and not keep saying that all the songs sound the same.
Panama Joe
Green Day make my heart sing
WARNING TO ALL
Beware of the postman who bears an itemised telephone bill.
Rooster of Dirt, doing time in the kitchen
