The Mega-Zine Museum
February 2, 1996
BOB THE SKUTTER has returned to say Mulder is too clean in a nice suit and brushed hair. Smoochie!
SILVER URBAN HAZE was shocked on seeing his name on the screen. It was so good we've decided to shock him again!
JON (EP) is another who has returned. What is this, coming out of the woodwork, invading 'Zine time? Stop it!
ZIGGY STARDUST wants to know if the girl who bought the world is a Bowie fan. No, she's a Take That fan.
Phil Anselmo's left foot moshed at a
SILVERJETS GIG. FLYING FUN!
DEAR 'ZINE
Horror, Spaceman is at No 1. Aargh! Not only have I bought this single, but I also got The Chemical Brothers who are at No 13.
Oh no! Two singles in the top 20. I've become trendy, no longer having the esoteric taste that made me unique.
No more freaking people out with my obscure, excellent musical taste.
Splat Meringue in a state of shock
It's good to see you're so modest,
TAKING CREDIT FOR TOP 20 SINGLES!
HELP!
Lying on the sofa, wrapped in my duvet and surrounded by used tissues, I've nothing to do but watch Australian soaps and rubbish chat shows.
My mates at school are stuck in a maths lesson; in a few minutes they will be running out on to a freezing hockey pitch in thin t-shirts and short pleated skirts.
Why can't I swap places with them?
Blue Jeaned Jelly Bean
Hockey better than a soap opera?
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!
EARLY VALENTINE'S RAMBLINGS
For you I'd build the tallest tower,
For you I'd create the prettiest bower.
For you I'd travel night and day,
For you I'd do anything you say.
For you I'd paint a grey sky blue,
For you I'd cook a feast for two.
For you no danger I would cower,
For you I'd devote my final hour!
Lonely Poet
INAUGURAL AL AWARDS
- Repetitive Album - Green Day
- Nowhere Without Press Hype - Oasis
- NME Fav Band - Anything selling well
- Biggest Flop - Britpop in USA
- Best Taste In Music - Me
- Saddest Loser - Anyone who disagrees with me
Al, a shark in water
Very ecumenical of you, that last award
CAN'T WAIT FOR THE ANTI-AL AWARDS!
