The Mega-Zine Museum
January 15, 1996
CUCUMBER HARVEY is plagued by the problem of leap years. Do you celebrate your Feb 29 birthday every four years?
PAY ME GIRL has post-Christmas blues. But the days are getting longer now and spring is on the way. Life is FAAAAAB!
PRESIDENT OF FOO AND FACIAL TISSUE wants to settle an argument: in Candy Cigarette by PUSA, is the line Ernie Steels makes a MEAN, or LEAN, Martini?
CAPTAIN FURBALL of the Hamster Liberation Army wants new recruits.
WHOO
That bloke from the Presidents of the USA, in his songs there's a lot of 'whoo'. Just listen to the song Lump. You'll see it's true.
I believe Lump was written about me. When your name is printed on TV the effect is amazing.
Dizzy Indie Dandelion
REVIEW - THE BASKETBALL DIARIES by JIM CARROLL
Jim Carroll's diaries, from 1963 to 1966, are a gritty slice of real life.
He pulls no punches in his account of life in the world of drugs and sleaze.
He does not glorify events, just records them as he sees them. The result is both disturbing and fascinating.
An enlightening book well worth a read.
Daisy Belle (AKA Fleur-E-Whirl-E)
DEAR 'ZINE
AUBERGINES. Inoffensive vegetable? No! Chief conspirator against humanity more like. Aubergines epitomise all that is purple and rubbish (Spurs away kit?).
Their continued presence in society could lead to the downfall of Bezzing and replace it with Open University Christmas parties.
Burn them all, for that is the only way to ensure the safety of toffee cake and Bez.
Bez's Working Trousers
Aubergine fritters are darn yummy
HAGGIS IS MORE HAZARDOUS I'LL HAZARD
DEAR MEGAZINE
Teenage girls must be SO gullible to keep on buying records by manufactured boy bands a la Backstreet Boys.
Fans must be immature if they fall for the marketing ploy. There aren't any manufactured GIRL bands, with lads pathetically screaming and fainting when they're on telly.
Just grow up!
Red Pen Jen
HIYA 'ZINE!
Quick, run and hide! Northern Uproar is here and they're a load of cobblers.
We tea-drinking citizens of this country must prevent the rise of these talentless 12-year-olds.
There is only one way to do it: buy a Collapsed Lung album and spread good taste throughout society.
Boy Lard and Boy Scrawn
