The Mega-Zine Museum
January 7, 1996
DEPRESSED VAMPIRE doesn't like being so because she has to video This Morning with Richard and Judy. Tough.
TABLOID JUNKIE discovered he can sing along with songs on Top of the Pops by using sub-titles. A future singing god in the making!
DANCE DIVA GROOVE PRINCESS agrees with Iron Lion that life is a sausage. What about the gravy and barbies?
SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION asked that all his lessons are printed on 'Zine. Yawn!
Laser Fiend wants identities revealed
'ZINE'S REAL NAME IS...
DEAR 'ZINE
Are these characters at your school?
Mr Ego:
Someone whose head is so big it has its own weather system.
Miss Different:
Someone who will say the Elephant Man is attractive just to get attention.
Miss Bandwagon:
The only girl actually dressed like J17's fashion pages.
Hazel-Ra
POST-CHRISTMAS FEELINGS!
Night or day
The fear of school never goes away.
The days are long, The nights are calm,
Where you dream of a foreign land.
Mondays come, Sundays go,
While school stains scare the soul.
Goodbye, hello,
Should I stay or should I go?
The Hoochie Couchie Man
You've got to go, you've got to go
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT YOU KNOW!
DEAR 'ZINE
Have you noticed?
- Bananas aren't all yellow
- Blur and Oasis aren't good friends
- There are no ox tails in oxtail soup
- Acting in Neighbours is really good
- Jarvis Cocker's got big hands
Indi Jovi Psychopaths
No ox tails in oxtail soup
ANOTHER NATIONAL SCANDAL!
PHRASES THAT DESCRIBE NOTHING
- Bizarre voting patterns
- Barometer of taste
- Undue verification
- Brian is the root of goodness
- There's a hamster called Cheese
- Ecstatic aquatic life
- A mundane look
- Tony Blair - you've gone enormous
Tath and Bob, brains for the foolish
How many more will we hear if this is
ELECTION YEAR?
MY CONFUSED NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS
- Stop eating tasty kneecaps
- Change my name to Pedro
- Give pocket money to an antelope
- Become confused
- Eat one hospital bed a day
- Join the "Save the Antelope" group
- Become an intellectual stimulant
- Design an award-winning antelope
- Rebel against the number nine
- Stop biting my knuckles
Iron Lion Antelope, still confused
What about writing just one letter
ALL 'ZINE READERS CAN UNDERSTAND?
