The Mega-Zine Museum
January 3, 1996
MALL TRAVELLER says almighty Mega-zine is a true saviour of humanity. Whatever happened to modesty?!
JARVIS' UNDERWEAR wanted us to excuse the bad state of her letter. We did. We didn't bother reading it.
SECRET ADMIRER thinks WLW stands for "We love all Wets". You drip!
DISAPPEARING GIRL told us that blue hair and nose rings are so amazing that she can't believe they're real. We'll break this gently - they're not.
Dancing with an Angel is looking
FOR ALL THE MISSING SHELL SUITS!
A CALL TO ARMS
I hereby call up all left-handers to rise up, throw off your shackles, and take your righful place as leaders of society and our right-handed brethren.
No more unusable scissors or impossible corkscrews.
Rebel, and we can use our superiority to make the world a better place.
Left-handed Bhoy
THE PERFECT NEW YEAR PUDDING?
Take one rather large football and paint it brown. Garnish with lashings of Dulux custard-white emulsion and place it on a chipped plate.
Now all you need is someone you don't like to sit down and share it with you.
Two-Face, the favourite ingredient
At last, Two-Faces' true colours!
YOU'VE GONE PAST YOUR SELL-BY DATE!
DEAR 'ZINE
I bet no-one knows that goldfish are planning world domination. I only know because my Snoopy pillow-case told me.
The fact this warning will not be heeded only proves that the goldfish are in league with mice, and we should all go back to bed.
Goodnight!
The Paranoid Reject
Today we've had lefties and goldfish
PLANNING WORLD DOMINATION! WHY?
WHY I LIKE BEING A VAMPIRE
- Don't need to get up in the morning
- People are really scared of me
- Naturally pale skin
- My long black velvet cloak
- Never get cold in winter
Sweet Gothic Vampire, with purple hair
At least you're not a football goalie
YOU'D BE USELESS WITH CROSSES!
SOME SENSELESS WORDS
I have spent a week working on a belated Christmas poem with true meaning and rhyme.
The cow and the sheep
Are not asleep.
But when they are
They don't go far!
The Poetic 1
No wonder you missed Christmas
THE POEM PUT YOU TO SLEEP!
