The Mega-Zine Museum
September 1, 1995
WHY have the Ribena berries stopped wearing leaves? Downright pornography. Quark, my dear, you are very sick.
WHY does no-one in Neighbours notice that Cody has lost two years in age? The Cheap Indie Tart has a lot on her mind obviously.
MY TOMATO PLANTS KURT, CHRIS AND DAVE is very upset that Dave Grohl's married and his wife bakes awesome cookies. And I'm meant to do ? about it?
THE MOUNTIE IS BACK SOON! Yaaahhhoo!
The Party Pooper asks who thought Pets
WIN PRIZES WAS A GOOD IDEA (ME)
DEAR WLW
Everyone was rightly shocked when a policeman was stabbed at an animal rights demonstration.
But this is what happens to millions of defenceless animals everyday!
If there was any justice, the police would be on the side of the animals!
As Morrissey sang: "Meat is murder!"
Dennis Bergkamp's Indie Shorts
Meat-eaters beware, the cows may
START TO KICK BACK
WORK EXPERIENCE
Hello, my name's Toto,
I work in a button factory.
One day my boss came up to me
and said "Are you busy Toto?"
I said "No."
"You push the button with your left hand."
(seven verses later)
"Are you busy Toto?"
I said "Yes, ho ho."
Dime Bar FC, Toto & Grix, Broadhall Way
A JOKE
A parachutist is plummeting earthwards, having leapt from a plane.
To his horror, his 'chute fails to open and he hits the ground just outside London. An excited group of southern yuppies gathers and asks what happened.
"My 'chute didn't open."
"Should've known," tuts a director, "Nothing opens here on a Sunday."
Two-Face, Up North
I'm only half sure I find this funny
NOT SOMETHING TO STOP ME THOUGH
TOTALLY SAD
On Thursday, bored and channel surfing, I had the misfortune to come across Total Reality.
Never before have I watched such a depressing programme. I mean, sad little kids arguing about pushing each other off the edge in Virtua Fighter; complaining about the Polygon graphics; and the presenters, if that's what you call them, Ice and Cube...
I'd love to hit whoever made this programme.
The Edge
Write to the producers!
POWER TO PEOPLE ON THE EDGE
BLUR/OASIS "NOT ENEMIES REALLY" SHOCKER
Reeling from the sight of one of Dan Abnormal's lads in an Oasis shirt on TOTP, I listened again to the lyrics of Country House.
"He's got morning glory, it's a different story".
An obvious reference to the City supporters' up-coming elpee (What's the Story) Morning Glory!
For a preview of the title track, listen to the beginning and end of Acquiesce.
Kevin Stapleton, waking up
TT - 1 = VG
Until we saw Take That's fabulous performance in Manchester, my sister and I were not particularly big fans.
Robbie has left but we think TT may even be better now. The group's entrance was amazing - Jason descended on a rope, Mark was carried in on a bed
The special effects and sets were brilliant: vintage cars driven on stage and a glowing starry backdrop on Back for Good.
Rowan, 12, Colette, 11.
These two have certainly been converted
MAYBE I SHOULD GO ALONG!!!!???!!
