The Mega-Zine Museum
June 28, 1995
HARCAMONE'S ROSE says the aftershave ads are the ones to look out for - so much bonding, so little time.
JULIA PARADISO recommends Singles Bar for raw guitar pop but Drink Me for varied, diverse pop by Salad.
PUPPETS! Where do they go when their time is up? Ed the Duck and Gordon the Gopher...
"WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW won't hurt them", is perfect for boys, says someone who may or may not be called Volume Up.
Elyzium Succubus wants Susan to stop
SINGING ALONG TO ROBSON AND JEROME
ALBUM REVIEW - EXAMS - JUNE
The start is full of nervous energy, triggered by the song I Wish I Had Revised and the strange repetitive phrase "that was soooo hard".
It gets better towards the end, but the song English (faraway so close) was boring, ending with an hour of silence.
My Pen's About To Run Out brought anguish knowing no-one had another. In summary, August should be better.
Seeker, oh yes indeedy
Have you ever heard the song...
IT'S TOO LATE BABY?
HERE IS JARVIS' ALTERNATIVE CABINET
Minister for Fashion - Menswear
Minister for Alcohol - Damon Albarn
Minister of Eyebrows - Noel Gallagher
Minister of Longwords - Martin Rossiter
Minister of Anonymity - One of the blokes in Sleeper
20th Century Girl and Common Person
SUPER THINGS THAT ARE SUPER CHEAP
- Jolly Ranchers
- Ear Cuffs
- Coloured Bootlaces
- Glittery nail varnish
- Ice cubes
- Hair dye
- Peppermint tea bags
- Private Eye
- Tacky hairclips
- Friendship
Violet, Asking For It
Ice cubes are only cheap for a while
THEN THEY'RE WATER NOT CHEAP CUBES
TOP FIVE THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE SPIDERS
- The bits on the top of a tomato
- Stray bits of tangled cotton
- Dark corners of your room at night
- Anything black and unknown you are forced to touch
- Spiders
Cobalt Cat, Neutrino Fog, Lab 37
p/s Advice for Science GCSE people:
If it moves it's biology
If it smells, it's chemistry,
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
CHOCOLATE REVIEW - FLAKES
When opening this cocoa bean delicacy I am overtaken with desire for the velvet folds of milk chocolate inside.
After taking the first bite my taste buds erupt with the delight of the rich creamy texture.
Trouble is, all the adverts say that when you eat one you are immediately succesful in love.
Bob the Skutter, White Corridor 159
REPLY TO SPACED CADETS
With a little help from man this planet could heal itself.
The pollution and population problems could be controlled. This home of ours has everything we need if we use it in a sensible way.
It is childish just to abandon it and look for a new planet to misuse. How long will it be before mankind leaves a trail of vandalised planets behind it?
Noriedg.
Perhaps we should take the hint that
ALIENS DON'T WANT TO COME HERE!
DEAR 'ZINE
For eons now I have been sending missives from my paltry yellow life, but now I feel almost ready to embark on whole letters.
Beam me up!
Lentils Taste Naff
