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June 17, 1995

PURPLE INDIE MOOMIN has his ear and nose pierced but is getting serious hassle from school.

DOES Paul Goddard need Therapy? asks Jack the 21st Century digital boy.

ELYZIUM SUCCUBUS sent in a poem about Rollo the Amazing Vomiting Cat, and no, I can't print it all.

WHY hasn't Pingu won an Oscar yet or Mystic Meg won the jackpot? asks The Miami Maiden.

Jor-El, last son of Krypton has arrived

METHINKS WE'LL HEAR FROM HIM SOON

 

BOOK REVIEW - BLOOD AND HONOUR - SIMON GREEN

Successfully combining horror, fantasy, humour and suspense with an excellent and riveting plot.

Green tells the story of an actor who accepts a dangerous job. He has to impersonate a prince who is dying.

If you want a good book for when the A-levels (or whatever) are over, then I recommend it.

Marshmallow Girl, Sunny London.

The Cranberries Chick sounds none too

PLEASED WITH BURGLARS RIGHT NOW!

 

5 REASONS WHY I LOVE HENRY ROLLINS

  1. Despite great personal loss he has gone on to be so strong
  2. He is a singer, songwriter, author, poet and actor extraordinaire
  3. He is a tattooed freak
  4. He goes bright red and looks close to exploding when he sings.
  5. His neck is wider than his head

The Get-a-Life Pussy.

 

DEAR 'ZINE

I do wish that Channel 4 would dedicate a regular programme for young unsigned bands, so that those ignorant A&R people could see the talent out there.

I'm in a band and we want to tour so we can get a fan base and attract the attention of record companies.

A TV programme would help many bands that are trying to get going, and provide everyone with decent music TV.

The Funk Chunky Hunky Brass Monkey.

Has anyone else got any ideas for

TV PROGRAMMES, MUSIC OR OTHERWISE?

 

SOLUTION TO ENGLAND'S SPORT FAILURES

We do what the Americans did - invent a load of really stupid games that no one else can play which resemble other games that we're rubbish at.

Then invent some World Championships (with new rules) and insist they get put in the Olympic Games. Gold medals all round.

God bless GB and all who sail in her.

Avocado Pear, Scally-land.

 

WHY IS IT THAT?

  1. Your hair never sits right when you have a hot date
  2. When you come in from the pub, you never have notes - just change
  3. There's always a big queue behind me when the cashpoint tells me I'm broke
  4. When you empty the washing up bowl, there's always a teaspoon left in the bottom of the basin.

The Dancing Bear, Bonnie Scotland.

Why is it that I can never think of

ANYTHING FUNNY TO WRITE HERE?