The Mega-Zine Museum
June 4, 1995
BOYFRIENDS are like buses - none for ages then loads all at once, says Maid Marion of Middletown. Too true.
LOUISE WENER sent the most original missive - on a bus ticket!
AUBERGINES and courgettes are among the most evil things in the life of Gina.
ULTRA SAD BABE can't beeleeve The Brixton Academy is closing down.
BROKEN HEART says we should all watch Sesame Street. Glad you've caught up.
The Bristolian Beauty has a CD player
CALLED ETHEL WHO IS INEDIBLE
WHAT IS LIFE?
Life is a thing you do when you're not dead. There is a school of thought which says life is a bowl of cherries.
They can be clearly told apart in this simple way. Get a large shotgun and discharge it at the object.
If the object makes a weird ee-ik noise kicks legs in the air, then lies very still, it was probably life. If it just leaves a stain, it was probably a bowl of cherries.
Splat Ernest Meringue.
Splat says if you haven't got cherries
YOU CAN USE PJ & DUNCUN
TO THE INSENSIBLE ONE
Unemployment isn't lazing, idiot. It's humiliating and doesn't pay much.
Some 17-year-olds can't afford to laze around at college when they could be looking for work.
Education is a privilege which the working classes can barely afford, thanks to conservatism.
Abe Van Helsing, a socialist at College
AN ODE TO THE ARMY
Yummy trousers, dodgy jumpers, this is what the army offers.
You sleep in a hole, You fight in a desert, and then at the end, you die.
Left right, left right. You must march with your all your might
Eating slugs and rationed snails, Only join if you're hard as nails.
Venus, Night boat to Cairo.
I really have no idea what I should
THINK ABOUT THIS ONE
DEAR MEGA-ZINE
As selfish as this may seem, I think that too much money is spent on countries such as Rwanda.
There are big issues to be tackled in Britain, like homelessness and old people not getting enough money to support themselves.
I think more money should be put to good use in this country.
The Soup Dragon, having a green day.
This one could run and run
WHERE SHOULD THE MONEY GO?
THE LIGHTNING SEEDS - GLASGOW GARAGE
(Moody) Ian Brodie and the band won loads of new fans with a storming set which included amazing versions of singles like Marvellous and Change.
There was equally brilliant stuff from the first two albums. Brodie was even seen to break a smile at one point.
But they lost twice as many fans by walking off the stage after only 45 minutes and no encore. The word cheated springs to mind.
Handmaiden of End Time
This happens a lot does it not?
SEND WLW THE DIRT ON GIGS
EXTREME HAPPINESS FORMULA PART A
Smell of summer evening, with blue sky. No participation of the rat-race in the morning, Ugly Kid Joe's new album on the way.
Weekend night fever entering the atmosphere, getting ready to go out on the town, splash on the after shave, ready to take the girl out.
Whitfield Crane, Snowboarding in Alaska
