The Mega-Zine Museum
May 26, 1995
WOODPECKER FROM MARS can draw an ace Jimmy Hill on a good day.
DIZZY'S a happy bunny 'cos Bolton Wanderers are playing at Wembley on Monday - great.
PINGU is brilliant, discuss. Hot topic suggested by Miles Away Girl and Declan Fleming.
WHY is it that just as all your friends are in good moods, you sink into deep depression? Asks Anthropomorphic Girl.
Is An Angry Almost 15-year-old the
ONLY PERSON TO WATCH POT OF GOLD?
PHRASES HEARD AROUND SCHOOL FROM TEACHERS
- Are you chewing?
- Is that gum in your mouth?
- Spit it out... now!
- When I was at school...
- I've got my GCSE...
- If you don't do your homework it's fine by me - it's your GCSE not mine
- What do you mean you haven't done your homework - you've got GCSEs!
Love-lorn Libertine, Betrothed to David Duchovny
Teachers sure know how to surprise
DEAR 'ZINE
Has anyone noticed how scary cheese graters are?
How has anything so terrifying managed to remain undetected in our cupboards for so long? Although I have to admit their kitchen appliance disguise was devilishly clever.
These metal demons are out for blood, so watch out! (Especially my fellow root vegetables).
Scared Indie Carrot
It's liquidisers you gotta watch
INDIE CARROT AND CORIANDER SOUP!
BLACK PLANET
Black planet on the edge of time,
The dying life, a danger sign.
But still the wars go on and on.
The animals die, the trees do burn.
A nation dying, a nation scorned.
You would think we hadn't been warned.
An Armageddon we'll never forget,
Apocalypse now, for all to regret.
The Elyzium Succubus, Floodland
TOP TEN BLOKES IN BANDS WHO ARE NOT THE LEAD SINGER
| 1 | Alex James | Blur |
| 2 | Johnny Greenwood | Radiohead |
| 3 | Graham Coxon | Blur |
| 4 | Stuart | Menswear |
| 5 | Justin Welch | Elastica |
| 6 | Richey James Edwards | Manics |
| 7 | Mark Collins | Charlatans |
| 8 | Pete Wiggs | St Etienne |
| 9 | Steve | Pulp |
| 10 | Mark | Catatonia |
Muppet
No 1 = NOEL GALLAGHER - how could you
LEAVE OUT THE GREAT MANCUNIAN?!
DEAR 'ZINE
Is it just me or are snooker players really as blind as they seem?
There's this old trouble maker going around discreetly putting the odd ball back on the table after it's just been potted.
The poor players must be going mad thinking that they can't count or something. Is this strange man a ghost who is only picked up by the TV cameras?
Handbook of Practical Nursing
I wish I could be interested but life's
TOO SHORT - THEN YOU'RE A GHOST
