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May 17, 1995

VENUS says we should use toothpaste to stick up our posters - great 'cos it makes the room smell nice too.

REM will be starting their tour again on the 15th May with a rejuvenated Bill Berry on drums, so sayeth Hailshirt.

LENTILS TASTE NAFF has gone back to eating meat - guess why!

SCHINDLER'S LIST is The Deep Thinker's most meaningful film. Deep, man.

NEWCOMER Why Oh Why says hello all.

Nasty Accident says the yellow blob is

TEENAGE BILE AND VITRIOL. MAYBE...

 

TOP THREE THINGS ABOUT GCSE'S

  1. You get study leave, so you can stay in bed extra late.
  2. After you do the last exam for each subject, you can pack your books away for good.
  3. After your last exam you have about 10-11 weeks of free time until "results day". So get those party hats out and rave until you drop.

The Fly on The Wall, Shaw.

 

TO ALL THE SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE

Try Not To Breathe because Everybody Hurts, you may think Monty Got A Raw Deal, but it's OK, because Sweetness Follows.

I Took Your Name but you will Bang And Blame the King Of Comedy because of his Strange Currencies.

Why not ask The Man On The Moon to Let Me In to Star 69 so we can go Night Swimming?

All because I Don't Sleep, I Dream.

Michaela Stipe - Ignore Land.

As usual, the Stipe family make

NO SENSE WHATSOEVER

 

SAD WEATHER BROADCASTS

I was wondering if any of your Scottish readers have noticed how pathetic and biased the BBC weather broadcasts are?

All they care about is England. They don't give a damn about Scotland, Wales or Ireland. It is time the broadcasters got a grip and a life.

Is there anyone who wants to back me up on this one? Or any sad, pathetic English gits who want to fight back?

The Debate Master.

I don't know about Scottish

READERS - BUT WELSH AND IRISH HAVE!

 

MY THEORY ABOUT LIFE

Life is a big ocean in which everyone is swimming ashore. Some ride the crest of a wave and others struggle to keep their heads above water.

Most of us have our ups and downs, sometimes we catch a wave and other times we sink and have to find our own way back to the surface.

Everyone goes through stormy waters but at times it's just plain sailing.

Ginger's Baby, Manchester.

 

10 TRULY SCARY THINGS

  1. Public speaking
  2. Your first driving test
  3. Being alone in the dark
  4. Drinking too much coffee
  5. 12-year-old girls waving at you
  6. Religious zealots
  7. That people like GBOB still exist
  8. Public toilets
  9. Festival toilets
  10. Falling in love

Mr Mindcrime, Manchester.

I want to know why 12-year-old-girls

ARE WAVING. ARE YOU 12 TOO?