Mega-Zine
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May 19, 1995

SISTER WHOOPI unsurprisingly has sent in a Whoopi Goldberg Top Ten, with Sister Act at the top. No taste!

MOLLY asks "Teenyboppers. Boyzone. Seamus Smith. Why?" Indeed.

A JEDI KNIGHT says we should debate if UFOs exist and wants to know if any 'Zinesters have been contacted.

FREAKY CAPRICIOUS has her eye on a spine-tingling electric guitar.

HI David Russell, who hates pseudonyms.

Lentils Taste Naff is tired of being

SHORTENED - SO WRITE LONGER LETTERS!

 

THE FINAL EPISODE - GOD DEBATE

It is time to confess, the god you seek is me. For years I carefully made the universe without distraction.

However, when I made your world I had been in the pub with Thor and so made the odd mistake - war, famine, Tories, and teenypop.

I should get some credit for Supergrass though.

Casino Girl, encased in putty.

 

TO BE MADE EXTINCT SHOPPING LIST

  1. Just 17
  2. Boyzone
  3. Fitness fanatics
  4. Jonathan Aitken
  5. Mark Thatcher
  6. Weather girls
  7. Mopeds
  8. Major labels
  9. Trainers
  10. "Family" films

She Rocker, This Hollywood Life.

If weather girlies have to go - so does

THAT BLOKIE ON GMTV - BLEURGH!

 

REPLY TO MR SENSIBLE

What planet are you on? Sixth form? What about people who can't afford to stay at school because their parents are part of the unemployment figures?

There are millions of under 18s who aren't "lazing about" on their teenage backsides.

And what about people who don't get the grades for college? Even Major only got six and failed the bus conductors' exams!

Kitten, Clued-up girl.

Not that we're saying there's anything

WRONG WITH BEING A CONDUCTOR!!!!

 

SCENARIO

Liam, Noel and the boys are recording the greatest debut album ever, but realise they don't have a name.

"We ain't gotta name, kidda" says Noel.

Playing the opening bars, Liam asks; "What d'ya think o' this?" "Oh, ace this"

"Hang on a minute" beams Liam, "oh, ace this, OASIS!!!!"

Mr Lonely, On his own.

Yep, you're right, highly implausible.

Oh, I dunno

 

REPLY TO BLUE BOFFIN

How observant of you to notice the Mona Lisa is eyebrowless. I commend you on your highly developed sense of sight.

It is thought that Leonardo da Vinci originally painted Mona's eyebrows in a different type of paint to that of the rest of the painting.

But they were accidentally removed during some of the first restoration attempts on the painting.

Knower of all Knowledge, Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Are you really sure about this?

'COS I'M NOT