Mega-Zine
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May 11, 1995

NASTY ACCIDENT declares Joy to those who worship Ready, Steady Cook! Are you gonna go for the tomato or...

LENTILS TASTE NAFF can't beeelieeve Bob and Vic on Dick and Judy. Dump Gary B, give these men an OBE. And shoes!

BIG OGRE STALKER says the only thing GBOB could shave would be his dog. Ha!

ROCKAWAY BEACH says Gabba Gabba Hey! WLW says Whaddya Whaddya Mean?

VICKY MONK I love you says Anthony.

Aphrodite says if God had meant her to

BE A VEGGIE, SHE'D BE A RABBIT

 

NO FRILLS

What's wrong with you, my dear Tony? Are you feeling lost and lonely? Someone, please tell me it ain't true Oasis without Tony is like sky without the blue.

A ruck with Liam, don't break my heart. Can you quit when you top the charts? Best band in Britain, Sheffield was ace No-one could ever take your place.

Headshrinker.

 

VITAL TO CONTINUATION OF UNIVERSE

Situation: The sun's shining through my window. I could venture outside.

Objections: This would require me to walk all the way downstairs. Plus, the sun will hide behind a cloud if I do.

And it will start to snow. I'll also have to turn off Green Day - which is physically impossible.

Conclusion: I won't.

Soothsayer, on trail of enchanted gypsy

Exchange Green Day for Sunny Day and

GET THEE TO THE LAND OF FRECKLES

 

10 BITS OF CHAT FROM NIRVANA UNPLUGGED

  1. What are they tuning, a harp?
  2. You are just gonna have to wait
  3. Shut up
  4. I'm Thing One, that's Thing Two
  5. I guarantee you, I'll screw this up
  6. I didn't screw up, did I?
  7. OK, but I could screw this one up
  8. Aren't we a big, rich rock band?
  9. Cover your hair in your eyes
  10. This is my favourite performer...

Mystic Mole, Quicksilver Cavern.

What they are really saying is

WHY AREN'T THE BLIGHTERS DANCING?

 

DEAR 'ZINE

On Monday many people celebrated the end of WW2. Whilst the parties were going on, people in Bosnia and Croatia were living in terror and some may have died.

How can we spend money and put effort into the celebrations yet ignore the conflict that is going on in the rest of the world?

That wasn't a victory - we're still as selfish.

Altruistic Pip.

Is Pip alone in thinking this?

 

HEADLINES WE WANT TO SEE

  1. John Major quits as PM
  2. AFKAP finds a name and sticks to it
  3. Rednex realise their lack of talent and go away
  4. David Mellor gets a face job
  5. Ken Clarke gets a life

Camouflage. North West.

I'd rather see - WLW given rise out of

PROPORTION TO TALENT - MP'S SHOCKED