Mega-Zine
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March 31, 1995

MRS PINK AND MRS ORANGE say Tarantino would clean up at the Oscars, if there was any justice in the world.

JONEP can do without Swindon, Sunday mornings, TT and Tizer bottle caps.

COUNT VON 0'ZERO says people using tags eg 'Goth' should get a life. Ahem.

VOICE OF HOPE, funny but unprintable!

THE HAPPY HIPPY can't find any decent Rock/Alternative/Metal on the radio, and loves her Thursday night paperboy.

Here's the new Mega-zine Short Cuts!

 

A CAFE POEM

Why do I love the greasy spoon?
Breakfast special 99p.
It's far too loud and the people,
Too strange with worked, marked skin.

I don't want salt, vinegar or pepper,
I'm only drinking tea.
I'm only eating biscuits, so
Take them away from me.

Digger, Table Three, Behind you.

You are a poet of immense talent, now

MAKE'EM RHYME - PHILISTINES WE ARE

 

DEAR MEGA-ZINE

Now that the AA calls itself the 4th Emergency Service we can look forward to new TV dramas like Casualty et al.

Stranded motorists will wait on the hard shoulder for 5 hours until a spotty youth in a van with disco lights on the top arrives.

Then he tows them to a garage and charges 150 service-charge for running out of petrol.

Exciting viewing, non?

Mr Bungle, Raging Wrath of Easter Bunny

 

DEAR 'ZINE

I know the answer to everyone's ills - MADNESS! If Madness reform the world will be saved.

I implore all Madness fans to unite, shout "Hurrah for Madness" and nutty train down the street singing "Baggy Trousers"! Every day!

And remember - "It's all eggs, bacon, beans and a fried slice."

The Telly Guru.

Madness is about right, but I wasn't

THINKING MUSIC - JUST MY MIND

 

SEPARATED AT BIRTH?

Andi Peters and Carlton - Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Damian (Home and Away) and Pat Sharp.
Anne and Nick from (spooky) Anne & Nick
Martin Rossiter (Gene) and Linus Roache (Seaforth).

The Clueless One, Missing in Action.

Mulder and a Sex God, Pamela and Barbie

ERIC AND THE DIVINE ESSENCE

 

IN REPLY TO CASINO GIRL/ANNIE

You say you're into 'Alternative' music and I take it from that you mean Indie. Aren't you the same person who reviewed Elastica's new album?

Didn't their last single get to number seven and aren't they interviewed in EVERY teeny mag? Ooooh, so alternative.

When will the world see that they and Blur etc are as pop as TT? Pop is Pop. Don't bring blinkered snobbery into it.

Sheena, Rock-away Beach!