Mega-Zine
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March 21, 1995

THE TRUTH ACCORDING TO THE KON

  1. Kurt Cobain isn't Nirvana's real name. Nirvana is a group
  2. MOST girls who support Man Utd used to support Liverpool four years ago
  3. That Eric Cantona thing was really funny!
  4. All female presenters wear really short skirts
  5. All the people who say Heartbreak High is rubbish haven't seen it.

The Kon, Hardcore Shore.

My theory 3: He slipped!!! Pesky boots

 

QUESTION

Why is it that every time me and my mates are down our local High Street, we walk into the shopping mall and get followed by two security guards?

None of us has a criminal record. None of us is related to Bonnie and Clyde, so why do we get discriminated against?

We've broken down some barriers - but are all young adults going to be stereotyped now?

Jubilee, In a Low.

Big Brother is watching you so we must

LEAD BY EXAMPLE - PROVE 'EM WRONG

 

TO THE SHY BALD BUDDHIST

The reason you lot are good at football is because there aren't any proper jobs up north.

Also, northerners are harder to what? Educate? Rehabilitate? Communicate with? Reason with?

And we all know it is most unhip to try to label any band as "the best".

Someone Older and Wiser Than you Lot, Down South.

Eee Gads, it's Julie Andrews, swoon.

ANYWAY, TIME OUT ON THE ABUSE

 

TEN BEST MONTY PYTHON BITS

  1. Dead Parrot Sketch
  2. Lumberjack Song.
  3. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
  4. Ministry of Silly Walks.
  5. Self-defence against fresh fruit.
  6. Fish-slapping dance.
  7. Argument clinic.
  8. Bank robber.
  9. Spanish inquisition.
  10. Upper-class twit of the year.

A Person Not Called Trevor, North Wales

Nice to see a new face!

ONE WORD - SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM

 

DEAR 'ZINE SCENE

Fashion: Now that tattooing and body piercing are commonplace, the truly hip amputate.

Literature: A good book, with all the pages covered in cellophane, makes for ideal reading in the shower.

Some Demigods: Rolf Harris, Spike Milligan and Johnny Ball - all praise to them.

Sir William Knickers, Bedlam.

Don't try it! Leave it to Ms K Bates!

DM?-PETER PURVIS, JONATHAN COHEN???

 

HELP! URGENT ADVICE NEEDED

Five Superwaifs have found their way into my spaghetti jar and now I can't tell the difference between the models and the pasta.

Should I call Models One to come and identify them or should I just stick the lot in boiling water for 10 minutes and serve it up with a veggie Bolognese sauce?

Non Non Blonde Ultra Babe.

It depends if you like your models

AL DENTE - BUT THEY MAY MELT