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February 23, 1995

TOP TEN THINGS TO DO IN HEAVEN

  1. Party till eternity
  2. Watch over 'Zinesters, and laugh!
  3. Speak out of bushes, thus frightening people
  4. Be worshipped
  5. Make people argue
  6. Walk on water
  7. Make wine out of water
  8. Send people on holy crusades
  9. Learn to play the harp
  10. Write to the 'Zine

Dave the Messiah, Speaking to Elvis

I look forward to celestial letters

SAY 'HI' TO ELVIS FOR ME

 

PERFORMANCE REVIEW: TAKE THAT - THE BRITS '95

Wow! Want You Back is one of the most beautiful songs ever written.

Gary's smooth, seductive voice was complemented perfectly by cellos, violins, and acoustic guitars.

It's been two months since we saw them last and four months since Sure - well worth the wait.

I'm in love all over again.

Rob's Parsnips, Rembieland

Lovely

 

TOP TEN TOAST TOPPINGS

  1. Butter (ho, ho)
  2. Strawberry jam
  3. Nutella
  4. Marshmallow Fluff
  5. Peanut butter
  6. Marmalade
  7. Cheese
  8. Spaghetti
  9. Lemon curd
  10. Marmite

Powdered Toast Woman, The Sugar Shack

Careful out there - sugar can be fatal

PERSONAL FAVE IS NO 10

 

ODE TO JUSTINE FRISCHMANN

Oh! Justine from Elastica,
I think you're just fantastica
How I adore the way you hop
You're my reason for waking up
That says it all, so hear my plea
Forget Damon, you've got me!

The Musical Poet, (I'm back!)

A bit drastica - Justine don't do it

 

TO ALL SULLEN YOUTHS

Are you sick of adults saying, "cheer up, it might never happen"?

Don't despair or force a smile or you could end up like them. Grinning fools that have sold out, with nothing in their minds, appalling clothes and a haircut from hell.

Misery is the privilege of youth, sisters and brothers, do not waste it.

Non Non Blonde Ultra Babe

Ouch! Are your parents that bad and

ARE YOU A SMITHS FAN?!!

 

THE LOVE-SHACK?

"Drop-dead, horny bloke into watching paint dry and counting cars, seeks a cuddly, bubbly, luvly-jubbly, beautiful babe for mutual mirror gazing."

Whoops! - My mistake. I though this was One-2-One for a minute, considering the amount of recent love and flirting between 'Zine readers.

Get stroppy, not soppy!

Dirty Harry

I now predict love letters to D Harry

TRY AND CONVERT HIM!

 

DEAR OH DEAR OH DEAR

I am complaining about BBC2's treatment of The X-Files. Yet again they have re-scheduled it because of a new show, The Glam Metal Detectives.

I understand The X-Files is a very popular show, yet BBC2 are happy to shove it about, from Mondays to Thursdays, from 9pm to 9.30pm etc.

Let's just hope that it stays in this slot until the end of the series.

Powdered Toast Woman, Villa Rosie

Pretty serious stuff that

TESTING YOUR FAITHFULNESS

 

TOP TEN HANG-OUTS IN THE NORTH EAST

  1. My room
  2. A field
  3. The Metro Centre
  4. Eldon Square
  5. Consett
  6. Durham Cathedral
  7. Err... my room?
  8. With some sheep
  9. ?
  10. ?

Actually, there's nowhere except my room.

The Purple Rhino

Your room must be very special

ANY SUGGESTIONS - BETTER PLACES?