Mega-Zine
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September 10, 1993

LIKE TAKE THAT? READ ON...

I and many more people in this country, who are too chicken to say, think you are a load of pansies.

It's pathetic the way you all run around screaming "I love you Mark" etc. I mean, as if they care! You may think they care but they don't.

All they care about is themselves. No one cares, so dye your hair, listen to punk rock and be abusive.

Claire, Chesterfield

Wrong. WE care, Claire. No we REALLY do

YOUR CARING, SHARING 'ZINE WANTS YOU

 

MY TOP TEN SHAKESPEAR'S SISTER SONGS

  1. Hello (Turn Your Radio On)
  2. I Don't Care (See Claire on p1!)
  3. Run Silent
  4. Goodbye Cruel World
  5. Stay
  6. Dirty Mind
  7. Moonchild
  8. Mr Wrong
  9. Are We In Love Yet?
  10. Twist The Knife

Siobhan and Marcy's Biggest Fan Ever

Can't go wrong with a Top Ten. MORE!!!

WE'LL EAT 'EM IF THEY'RE TOO LONG!

 

ALBUM REVIEW: BREAK LIKE THE WIND by SPINAL TAP

Spinal Tap are certainly one of the best spoof rock bands around. David St Hubbins' lyrics, continually verging on the deep, are brilliantly written.

Immortal lines like "I know for I told me so," hang forever in your head, making you either laugh or cry, depending on your particular point of view.

In a word, EXCELLENT.

The Spinal Tap Appreciation Society

What was the review for Shark Sandwich?

 

TOP TEN WHYS

  1. Why does George Michael persist with his ridiculous stubble?
  2. Why do Take That look so gormless?
  3. Why does Piers Morgan (Sun) exist?
  4. Why do E17 try to act so hard?
  5. Why do people like U2?
  6. Why do people still read Smash Hits?
  7. Why does Sharon Stone keep taking her kit off in films?
  8. Why does Kylie still make records?
  9. Why is England a sad football team?
  10. Why doesn't Whitney just disappear?

A Very Cynical Person, Kent

The answer, my friend, is er... I dunno.

WHY DON'T WE GET MORE FUNNY LETTERS?

 

FIVE THINGS THAT BOTHER ME

  1. Why Pearl Jam aren't as big as they deserve to be
  2. Why Katie won't reveal to me whether she fancies me or not
  3. Why I haven't got the bottle to ask her out
  4. Why most people cannot appreciate different music tastes and no one has the right to criticise another's favourite musical acts
  5. Why metal fans are stereotyped as devil-worshippers with no brains.

Sure she fancies you - who wouldn't??!

WE FANCY OURSELVES. BUT WE LOVE YOU!

 

RE: ELTON'S WIG

So dance music is abysmal, all sounds the same, is tuneless and doesn't use proper instruments.

Stereo MC's - DRUMMER, Utah Saints - DRUMMER & GUITARIST - need I go on?

As for "quality bands" not getting airplay who are they, Elton "Mogadon" John?

Take off your blinkers. New music is the way forward - not banal 50-year-old stadium pop stars.

Dan, Wiltshire

You know what they say about drummers!

THERE ONCE WAS A 'ZINE CALLED MEGA...

 

UNTITLED

So, it seems some Take That fans are being wound up by people slagging them off. TOUGH!

I put this to all Take That fans: in approximately 2 years' time when you've all grown up and stopped screaming, you'll all be embarrassed to admit you ever liked them.

It's a fact. And I don't want to read any whining letters about it.

Someone Who Knows, Croydon

Oo-er. Ah, who cares? KEEP SCREAMING!!!