The Mega-Zine Museum
February 3—4, 2006
TEXT MANIACS
BLEEP THE ROBOT Does anyone want to give me a PC that works? No police constables please. Why on earth do you want a computer? They're ghastly.
DOUGIE THE MINESWEEPER How can I live without Smash Hits? Please try.
GOBBLING GUBBINS
NATIVE CHILI CHIEF Wooo Hooo, I made page one! Put that in yer pipe and smoke it. Ner ner! Ner, ner, ner.
MINI JEREMY CLARKSON I quite clearly know best and the three best bands IN THE WORLD, EVER are Fleetwood Mac, Superpertramp and Dire Straits. Sorted. Where are the Spice Girls, 911 and Jemini?
THE BRIGADIER Cold, isn't it? Where are my long johns? In the wash?
THERE GO MY DREAMS
When I was just a little girl I asked my mother what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me: How the heck d'ya expect me to know? I ain't psychic!
The Vampire of Ye Olde Hinkytown
Que sera sera... your mother spoke wise words, you could learn a lot from her.
SPIDER FIGHTING
My mate from college started a spider fight club. Now nearly everyone I know is trying to catch spiders so we can all get drunk while watching them fight.
I caught one but it died.
Got any spider raising tips? Please check out Myspace.Com/spiderfightclub
Mongoman 5
Number one, close your mouth when sleeping - that's when the pesky things drop in and die.
A GOOD DEED
The other day, I was chuffed to have helped an old lady to cross the road.
Then she whacked me with her walking stick. I'd made her miss the bus she was waiting for!
The Bonnie Bonessian
Tsk! The whole point of helping an old lady is to, er, help.
MUSICAL QUIP
I asked, "Is Beethoven still composing?"
"Oh no", came the reply, "He died in 1827".
"Ah" said I. "Decomposing"
That joke is dedicated to the Zine band, now defunk.
Daddypoos
Very good. But I prefer new or original jokes. Next.
ODE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY
My darling,
It's you that I adore,
But I fancy your sister even more.
Pedantic 252
You're mistaken. I don't have a sister - perhaps it's my nephew dressing up?
