The Mega-Zine Museum
October 4, 2005
THE BALD MOUSE CALLED FLUFFY I would just like to announce the engagement of myself and Junior Minister. Better get the hat ready, WLW. Am I Best Giraffe?
LIL' MISS COMEDY Today's question: Will you still love me tomorrow? Answers on a postcard. He, he! I'll get back 2U.
PAGE TWO ONCE AGAIN
PRINCESS PSYCHO Clarkson got a custard pie in the face. That must be worth 2,000 points in the Jeremy game. Ouch!
THE PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM If Dark Grey Wolf and Self-Obsession Honey have returned, I suppose I'd better make a comeback too. Has anything pilchard-related happened in my absence? Cod knows.
GUTLESS WONDER If you don't own a mobile (or the one you have doesn't work) - improvise. What, shout?
I'm out of Jaffa Cakes.
PLEASE SEND ME MORE!
BY GUM!
Have we all seen the new advert for Sure deodorant which will give you "over the top" protection?
Is it just me or does it prove one thing only - people who sweat by the bucket load will do anything for attention!
I mean, who the heck will park a car on two wheels or jump onto the back of a moving taxi?
Punk Princess
You clearly haven't visited
SOUTH LONDON RECENTLY
BOUTROS CANOROUS GAUCHO
"When will the monkeys stop screaming?" I said to my main man, Boutros Canorous Gaucho. He didn't reply. He just looked at me with evil intent.
I told him, I said to him: "Chill out." But again, nothing. There was no reply.
Even the evil intent - the look he mastered so well while working as a showgirl in downtown Boustourarous - faded like the career of a talent show wannabe.
Still, after all these years, he stands there saying nothing.
Cool Hand Bob
Maybe he's gone camping
IN HIS EVIL INTENT?
PROCRASTINATION
The world is trying to make me fail this essay. Yes, I'm looking at you Morrissey. Stop fluttering your daffodil in my face. No, I won't listen to you. Oh, OK - maybe for a minute.
And also Mr May. No I won't gaze at you on the wall. No. Don't make me. Oh Brian, why are you so lovely?
It's a hard life when you have two rock stars fighting for your affections.
Lara Croft
Nobody has called Brian May
LOVELY SINCE ABOUT 1974
HANG THE MAN
I agree about how there should be a rule book for hangman. My friend once put down: "Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood."
Needless to say, I bit his middle toe.
Ha, ha.
Paddy Irishman
Drinking juice in the hood?
DON'T BITS OF FLUFF GET IN IT?
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
Hollyoaks. A small town in the middle of England where every young person is stunningly beautiful whether they're on drugs, drunk out of their mind, in jail or indeed balding.
They should make an alternative show where all the young people are ugly. Then at least it would make us all feel better about ourselves.
Confused Pirate
They already have done.
IT'S CALLED EASTENDERS
