The Mega-Zine Museum
September 18, 2005
MY LEFT KNEE I find the best thing about soft mints is that they are not hard. I'm hard. Oh, OK, I'm not...
THE CAT WITH THE FIDDLE So I've won a makeover, how thrilling. McKeith is on her way round. Mwah ha ha!
PAGE TWO TASTERS
VIGILANTE MAELSTROM Stop. Hammertime! Now, you've got me dancing.
ANGUISHED ANGUA Which species of giraffe are you, WLW? And are you endangered? The most rare and fabulous of them all. I am very precious, don't you lot forget it.
JEBORI Fine, feed my slippers to the alligator. I just hope you can live with yourself. Will you still be in the slippers?
Dunno if gators eat slippers but
THEY DO LIKE A GOOD GAME OF SNAP
MESSAGE IN THE SAND
My grand message on the beach at Pokesdown read as:
"Kim woz 'ere. 5/9/2005 Wha-hoo!"
Maybe next time I'll do a short poem about the sea instead. Might be more interesting... but what else would folk do spontaneously?
Luco El Loco
And then the sea came and washed it
AWAY AGAIN... YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK
GORDON RAMSAY BEWARE...
... I'm after your job.
I just thought, does anyone know Gordon Ramsay's contacts? I'll exchange it for the Prime Minister's address.
My food teacher tells me I can be as good or even better than him.
GORDON, CAN YOU HEAR ME? MR RAMSAY BEWARE - YOU'RE IN FOR A SCARE!
Tiamat the Dragon
This is a question for my good pal
CEDRIC. THAT RAMSAY'S FIERCE THOUGH
DAMN YOU, COMPUTER
On Saturday, I was connected to broadband. Twenty seconds later my computer broke down and is now capable of nothing but emitting a beeping sound at me. And I have to wait a week for an engineer.
So it's back to e-mailing in "study" periods at school. I could just cry.
Me and my Insania
Don't cry at your keyboard - you'll
BE THE ONE BLOWING UP
APU TO YOU
Does Ambiguous Snail live in Cambridge or Chelmsford? There's an APU at each.
I live near Cambridge which certainly fits the description of a "town of chavs".
Fortunately, I don't live in Cambridge itself so I can escape them and go back to my comparatively (but sadly not completely) safe village.
The One With The Mighty Antlers
Aw, you should meet Snaily in your
LOCAL CHAV-FREE LIBRARY THEN
THIRD PERSON SHENANIGANS
Norman Radcliffe dislikes people who speak in the third person. Norman Radcliffe feels that it conveys a truly odious level of solipsistic arrogance. Norman Radcliffe suspects that Junior Minister often speaks in the third person.
Norman Radcliffe would like to point out that this letter is written in the third person only to emphasise his point.
Norman Radcliffe
WLW would never speak in the third
PERSON, AND IF ANYONE SHOULD. OOPS
