The Mega-Zine Museum
August 21, 2005
THE OWL OF BEWILDERMENT Don't go around the roundabout too much - people get angry. And dizzy.
THE TARTAN THISTLE Parrots, what great creatures. They come in all different sizes and colours. Plus you can talk to them. Giraffes are better.
ONE-LINE WONDERS
LILAC LEOPARD If I left, would you miss me? There'd be a big, gaping hole here.
STRANGE DRAGON Woo! Look at me! I'm texting and wasting my credit! Woo! Give me a medal! Bet your phone bill - will make you "woo", too!
VEGETA WOLF Godeatsbananas, just because my girlfriend has blue hair doesn't mean I'm related to Kakarot. No, you're related to Sonic the Hedgehog.
I want as many 'Zine friends as poss
EVEN IF YOU'VE GOT BLUE HAIR, HONEY
KING DANNY IS TOTALLY...
...unprepared for the road ahead.
While staring idly at the Teletext TV listings I was hit by a revelation! The brief synopsis that accompanies programmes in TV guides is actually a 'Zine/album/song title generator.
Try it for yourself and you are bound to find something that tickles your fancy. In fact, I'm so impressed by some of the ones I've seen I've decided to change my name.
Mr Mopple is Upset by a Bee (formerly Sam Got A Snorkel)
"Jungle beasties invade the camp"
YOU'RE RIGHT. AND I'M "LOST"
CHEESECAKE
What is this thing called cheesecake,
It's not cheese, it's not even cake.
But people rave about this dish,
They even like it better than fish.
It's biscuit base and creamy middle,
And a topping that's sometimes a riddle.
So if it's not cheese or even cake,
Why, oh why is it called cheesecake?
Hopelessly Devoted
Oh, I love it, I love it!
NEXT UP: SAUSAGE ROLLS
SHE'S BACK
I'd make a great evil villain in a Bond movie. I'd have a side parting and a pink tuxedo.
"One could do with some nuc... nuc... weapons of mass destruction devices to help take over the world."
Yeah, that's what I'd say. Whatever.
Lara Croft (is back)
Pink tuxedos? WMD? Bond really has
ARRIVED IN 21ST-CENTURY 'ZINE LAND
ALL YOUR DREAMS ARE...
...made of strawberry lemonade.
Duchess Pandora Of Ormondroyd, it's so great to see you're a fan of my fave band (the awesome Oasis).
Do you like strawberry lemonade? I've got a few bottles in my fridge if you're ever lonely.
Oh yeah I forgot, despite the rumours going around, this place isn't a dating agency.
DJ Dave
Strawberry lemonade, eh DJ Dave? I
KNOW THE PERFECT GAL FOR YOU: MAKOSI
TUNEFUL
I'm afraid, my dear fellows, that I have no idea how one texts to another hearty soul.
What is wrong with sending messages by pigeon post? They are the most reliable of creatures. Furthermore, my typewriter has run out of ribbon.
Technology somewhat eludes me as I'm still playing my 78s on my gramophone. What a fine songstress Gracie Fields was.
The Brigadier
Like, get with 21st century, Brig!
COME AND LISTEN TO MY NEW WALKMAN
