Mega-Zine
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August 12—13, 2005

FRESHLY SQUEEZED CYNIC Why is it, whenever anyone wants to have a mad, crazy, zany, unique name, they always choose something involving a lemon? Not eaten enough Jaffas, I'd say.

MAXIMUS DECIMUS Nothing happened to me this week. Until now. Name in pixels!

 

MORE ONE LINERS

EMMA-THE-LIL'-ANGEL Freshly Squeezed, I did not buy the frog record. It's on Now 61 which my mum bought, so there! Ribbit up!

ME AND MY INSANIA Wait a minute! I've taken a wrong turning, this isn't Hogwarts! You people are weird. I want to go home now... On yer Nimbus 2000 then!

SO MANY FISH Oh my God! Look! It's, oh, it's only WLW. I am so majestic.

My thought for the day is...

LIFE IS A MINESTRONE, SO GET COOKING

 

I'M BACK

I have returned people of the 'Zine world and I... have absolutely nothing to say.

I was on a voyage looking for my other wing while visiting my family in an English town no-one's ever heard of.

I notice the trend of claiming celebrities is back so I claim Brian Molko of Placebo, the cutest Nancy Boy there is.

One Winged Angel

Did you find the other half of your

FLYING APPARATUS MORE IMPORTANTLY?

 

YIPPEE!

When I saw my first letter on 'Zine I bounced up and down on my imaginary spacehopper.

Well on another note, who wants to join me on the Anti Girls Aloud and Britney Spears Club? Their rubbish music shouldn't be allowed to annoy us any more.

Surreal Belly Laugh

If they heard you, they'd tell you

TO GET ON YOUR IMAGINARY BIKE

 

TOO MUCH TIME

So far this summer I've taken an early retirement from my day job to take up the life of leisure instead.

I'm now living life in the pursuit of happiness. By which I mean I've spent the best part of every day listening to Oasis's fantabulous new album, living off a diet of diet cola and vegetables, watching endless episodes of Big Brother and waiting for the pages of 'Zine to change each day.

DJ Dave

Your routine would be greatly

IMPROVED WITH GRAPES AND NEIGHBOURS

 

CELEBRITY/SHEEP PUNS

  • Michael Sheepmacher
  • Morrissheep
  • Sheep Guevara
  • William Sheepspeare
  • Pat Sheep
  • Sheepline Dion
  • Audrey Sheepburn
  • Sheepkira
  • William Sheepner
  • Michael Gorbesheep

Vigilante Maelstrom

Sheer madness. You are utterly

BAAARMEY

 

MORE ZINE CONTROVERSY

OK, so we've established that Oasis stink and Nirvana is a grey area (although they sucked).

So here are two more Music related issues that are slightly controversial and, depressingly, I broadly agree with:

  • Each member of Hi-5 is attractive in a different way. It's wasted on kids.
  • Mr Manson has worryingly nice legs.

I shall now go and cry.

Daggsy

Just don't let DJ Dave hear you say

THAT. MAYBE HE'D LIKE TO TRY HI-5?