The Mega-Zine Museum
July 18, 2005
DARK WOLF OF NORBEX Are you 50ft tall and living in an office? Then call Claims Direct... Will I get a free pen?
THE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING PENGUIN Two of my favourite things have been united together in a wonderful marriage, Teletext and Sudoku. Can life get much better? Ah Teledoku is great.
THE SLUG OF GREAT PERIL Have you noticed lots of people have sprouted extra ears recently? I haven't seen, but I have heard. 14 times.
AIMING AT THE STARS
Chocolate Crazed Biogeneticist - why would I settle for world domination when there's a whole universe there?
Admittedly, this planet does have some alluring qualities, and would look nice in my collection, but I find the inhabitants somewhat lacking in charisma to justify any real attempt of conquest.
Besides, I already rule what really matters, 'Zine.
WLW, calm down and step away from the tin opener...
Dalek
Why, I'll use you as a watering can
BEFORE THE DAY IS OUT...
PADDINGTON BEAR
"Wretched bear, it's won again!" grumbled my mother as I walked into the room. Since I discovered Four-in-a-row on the Paddington Bear website and the rest of my family became addicted to it, complaints like this and "Help, the bear's beating me!" are common.
It's unbelievably embarrassing being beaten at Four-in-a-row many times in succession, specially if your opponent is a non-existent bear called Aunt Lucy.
The One With The Mighty Antlers
You think that's bad. Wait till you
GET ON THE RUPERT WEBSITE
SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT
Flicking through uni prospectuses, I have come to the conclusion that uni students are unable to produce any facial expression other than the smile.
Every second page, there is some student with a cheesy grin on their face. Are all uni folk so happy happy, smiley smiley, or have you all been given daily injections of Botox in order to look that way?
So Many Fish
You forget that all prospectus pix
ARE ONLY EVER TAKEN ON A FRIDAY
SHE'S JUST THE TICKET
I saw a girl at the station today. She was the prettiest girl ever.
I wish she wished she was my date for the Proms. I could really stalk her, I think.
Oh gosh, I mean talk to her. Yes! Talk to her. Yes.
Goodness!
Little Blue Fox
Get from behind her plantpots and go
AND ASK A LADY IN YOUR OWN LEAGUE
HANG THE DJ
Pff. So Hang the DJ thinks he/she's the biggest Morrissey/Smiths fan ever? That title is mine. I own all the Smiths and Morrissey albums on vinyl and CD (who else noticed the messages in the run-out grooves of singles and albums?)
I adore Morrissey and spend most of my waking hours telling people he's great and listening to Reel Around The Fountain.
No more pretenders to my throne please!
Iceblink Luck's Hatful Of Hollow T-shirt
Ooh, daffodils at dawn! (Sob) they'd
LOOK SO MUCH NICER IN A PRETTY VASE
HERE ARE MY AIMS...
As a new 'Ziner, here are some things I would like to do:
- Declare war with another 'Ziner (for no reason)
- Declare my undying love for another 'Ziner (for no reason)
- Paint WLW Towers a violent shade of mauve
- Call WLW "my wee honey" several times
So waddya think, WLW, my wee honey?
The Doctor's Most Interesting and Eccentric Assistant
Oooh, get you! I like a confident
ONE. AND I'M RATHER PARTIAL TO MAUVE
